Heir of Beasts

Ch. 5.1- The Gallows Call

(O'otani)

            When I wake up, my entire body feel heavy. No, not heavy- drugged. I drag myself up, cursing my decision to drink the second cup of Isoveri tea. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I just wanted to fall into a deep sleep instead of lying stiff in bed, listening for the sound of distant hoof-beats.

            I stand up and stretch. The light filtering in through the window is warm; I see nothing different when I look through the cracks in the iron bars. The courtyard below me is empty. The desert sky is still the same shade of brilliant blue, broken up only by the outline of the city in the distance.

            I don't know what I expected. The twenty riders below my window, waiting to wave good morning to me? The city burning in the distance? Something catastrophic, maybe, to match the dread crawling around inside of me. The riders are back, each beat of my heart seems to whisper. Whatever reprieve I've had, it's over now.

            It's all over now, isn't it? They have Shira in chains. They have me locked in my room, defenseless. They have the palace, the city, maybe even the country by now. All I can do is wait for whatever comes next.

            A chill runs down my spine as I imagine what that might be. A thousand images flit through my mind, each more morbid than the last. A guard with a gun to my head, but this time he isn't told not to shoot. Sholu Verlaina's lips curling into a smile, a knife in his hand. Me, bound to an X-frame, blood running from hundreds of shallow lacerations as a guard pushes me to reveal secrets I don't know. A hand holding me underwater, my lungs begging for air.

            Shira, bound in chains. His face bruised. Shaking like a leaf about to fall, his eyes grabbing at mine, silently begging me to save him. You promised, Oé. You promised-

            I start to pace the length of the room, warming up my muscles. My hands clench and unclench at my sides. Fear continues to bloom inside of me, a caustic flower. I hold out my hand and notice it has a slight tremor.

            I will not be afraid, I will myself, pacing faster. Fear is the enemy. It makes you dumb and blind and defenseless. I've conquered fear before.

            Shortly after Arn D'Verin agreed to take me on as his student, he learned I was afraid of heights. He made me stand on top of the parapets and look down every morning until it no longer caused my heart to race and my palms to sweat.

            Fear is just a signal, he told me. A message readying you to fight. Receive the message, then banish the fear and prepare yourself.

            But it's not that easy now, is it? I can't prepare. I have no weapons to sharpen and strap to my thigh. No dagger to hide in my boot. I can't even prepare myself mentally because I have no idea why we weren't shot that night. No idea what they're saving us for.

            I run through a series of drills just to keep from crawling out of my skin. By the time I think to check the clock, it's eleven thirty. I still- I expect Halima at ten every morning.

            What if they found out she lied about my illness to feed me information? My heart rate picks up as I imagine all manner of horrible things happening to my little maid.   

            She's fine, I reassure myself. She's smart and nowhere near as reckless as I was at her age. She'll stay out of trouble.

            When she doesn't come by twelve, my pacing becomes almost manic. I'm surprised I don't wear a hole into the floor. The clock ticks forward, slowly, and my panic grows despite numerous mental exercises to contain it. It's almost one o'clock before a knock comes at the door.