Heir of Beasts

Ch. 2.1- A Foreign Shore

Shira, one month later

The ocean wind whips across my face, carrying with it minuscule particles of salt and sand that scratch my cheeks. I angle my body to the side to avoid the spray. If my mother is bothered by it, she gives no sign; her clear eyes don't even squint against the wind. She reminds me of a statue fixed to the prow of a ship to bring sailors good luck.

"We're not far now." She says simply, giving me a small smile. "You'll be able to see the coast in an hour or so."

Her smile falls when I don't answer. But what can I say? That I'm excited to get off the boat? The boat, at least, is familiar. I force myself to take a calming breath, to let some of the tension leave my body. All is well, I whisper to myself under the sound of the waves crashing against the prow. All is right.

"Relax, Shira." My mother whispers, placing her hand on mine in a rare show of affection. "This is the best place for you now."

"So you've said." I quip, slipping my hand away.

"Stop it." She murmurs. "You're acting like a child."

"Why shouldn't I act like one when all of my decisions are made for me?"

"You are lucky your decisions are made for you!" She says sharply, though still too quiet for the captain to hear us. "For you, Shira. To keep you safe! To assure your future!"

"My future is in Shikkah."

"Shikkah is on fire." My mother answers. There's sadness leaking through her usual practicality and it makes it hard for me to stay angry. "And I will not have my son burn with it."

I sigh, unable to really argue further. Because, no matter how much I want to deny it, it's true. There's no place for me in my country now, and there may never be again. The thought makes my chest ache.

We wait in silence, staring out at the horizon. Gradually the shoreline appears, then widens. What is at first just a grey shape becomes jagged rocks and a line of trees in the distance.

"We'll start bringing your things above deck now." The captain, one of three others on the small cargo ship, says. My mother gives him a small nod. I want to thank them but my voice doesn't come when I open my mouth. I grip the side of the ship tighter, willing myself to be calm. To breathe.

Tears prick my eyes and I blink them away as rapidly as I can, turning my body so the captain and mother can't see. Now I'm really acting like a child, I think sardonically. But still, I can't hold back the tears. They flow down my cheeks even as I keep my face stoic, biting my lip to keep in a sob.

"Amshira." Mother says. When I don't answer, she repeats herself. "Amshira, look at me."

I do, my face burning in shame. When was the last time she saw me cry? When was the last time I cried- I haven't had time to cry, not during the chaos of the last month. I've barely had time to breathe.

"Listen to me." She says, her bright blue eyes burning into mine. "You can break apart now. We have fifteen minutes until shore and I will stand next to you so no one will see. The wind and the sea will hide you. But once you are in Kama, you let no one see you cry. No one. You do, and they will beat you like waves against a rock." She leans forward, the ocean wind whipping her light hair wildly around her face. "I'm telling you what my brother told me once: you survive, if it's all you can do. You don't worry about the future, and you don't worry about the past. You just survive. And then, when you're strong enough, you start to build."

"Build what?" I ask.

She smiles, and it's like watching a glacier thaw. "Anything you want, Amshira. Anything."