Heir of Beasts

Ch. 5.4- The Puppet and Her Strings

When Halima comes into my room she doesn't look at me.

"Are you alright?" I ask from my seat at the vanity.

She nods once, then walks over to take her place behind my chair. Not a word escapes her lips as she begins to remove the golden ornaments from my hair, laying them aside one by one with such somber ceremony I know something heavy is weighing on her mind.

"Halima, what is it?" I probe.
"Nothing, miss," she murmurs, continuing with her work. Her hands shake, though. I feel the tremors.

"Halima," I murmur, reaching above my head to take her hand in mine. I mean to say more, to force a confession from her, but as soon as our skin touches she recoils as if my fingers were flame.

"What the sands is the matter with you?" I ask angrily, turning around in my chair to face her. She looks up and I notice immediately she's been crying: her golden eyes are bloodshot and tear tracks still stain her cheeks.

"Tell me what's wrong," I say, not angrily, but with the intensity of a command.

She hesitates a moment before murmuring, "you."

"What?"

"You," she repeats, louder. "You are what is wrong, O'otani."

I startle, both at the hardness of her voice and her use of my given name.

"You had a chance to save them," she continues, pulling the comb through my hair with decided violence. "All you had to do was say the word, but you didn't. So now they die."

"The Kyorin?" I ask incredulously, staring at her in real surprise. "How could you pity them, Halima?"

"How could you not?" She responds. "Did you see the look on Ristalai's face, or that boy weeping into his father's arms? They were wretched!"

"They're traitors," I tell her, sighing, at once annoyed by her compassion and glad she's still soft enough to feel it. "They deserve to be wretched. They betrayed Shikkah."

"They don't deserve to die," she whispers, running her fingers through my silver hair. "They're just people, miss. Why couldn't you be merciful?"

"Because your mistress is full of rage," a voice says from the doorway. We both startle, turning around to find Kaza standing in the doorframe. "And rage blinds you to mercy."

"I was not blinded!" I reply indignantly. "I sentenced them according to their crime. The punishment was not merciful, but it was just."

"If you really believe you sentenced them, you're blinded still," Kaza says as he walks into the room without waiting for an an invitation.

"What're you talking about?" I snap. "Of course I sentenced them! Didn't you hear me say the words?"

"You might have said the words," he explains, "but make no mistake, it was Sholu Verlaina who made the decisions. You were little more than his mouthpiece."

"I was nothing of the sort!" I protest.

"You were manipulated flawlessly," he continues, ignoring my indignation. "Sholu knew the moment you heard the Kyorin surrendered you'd lose yourself to rage, and he knew your rage would lead you to demand their death. You gave him exactly what he wanted: the Kyorin Dimaraste will die and all of Shikkah will believe it was your decision."
"That is- I was not manipulated," I say, now less sure. "I saw it all clearly."

"Did you?" He asks. "Did you see that if they died two thirds of Shikkah's Dimaraste would be gone? That the new regime would have swallowed not one but two ancient families?"