Chapter Forty-Four

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Willa pulls at the grass next to her feet

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Willa pulls at the grass next to her feet.


A terminal illness. That's the word the doctor used today. I know I'm dying and that the end is in sight, but saying "terminal" makes it feel more...real. As if leaving the world won't be on my terms anymore, even though it never had been to begin with.

The increasing headaches, my blurring vision, I probably shouldn't be out here now unsupervised but I had to come see them one last time. They've always been here for me. They aren't constantly shoving pills down my throat or sending looks of pity. They don't know that I'll be dead within the next few months—again—assuming nothing takes me out before then.


She adjusts herself to look into the lake. The stars are shining brighter than ever. They sparkle above, as if the universe knows something she doesn't, or perhaps it's merely the migraine taking it's effects.


A few months left at most and I've yet to have my first kiss, my first boyfriend, see the world, be the person I want to be without this illness taking that away.

Does a higher power have something else in store for me and that's why all of this is happening? Will I be a princess to a wealthy kingdom in another life or a superhero fighting to protect the city that made them discover their true capabilities? Maybe I'll be reincarnated into a wolf hidden amongst a pack that breaks free in order to fulfill a destiny that was set out to her long before time itself became relative.


Willa let's her mind wander as to distract from the pain.


I wonder what Jasper's up to.

Probably eating a bowl of cereal or strumming his guitar to the song he'd nearly finished the other day. All there was was a few lyrics missing and someone to sing it.


She smiles.


The way his brows furrowed in concentration, the way his hands rested against the neck of the instrument, the way he bit his lip and leaned back in the swing. It makes my heart flutter just thinking about it.

There were plenty times I'd catch him looking at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention. I noticed everything, every...every small detail.

If things were different, if I was given the chance at another life, I'd try my hardest to find him again.


Amongst the reflection of the stars, come little golden lights. They float out of the trees, out of the bushes and any spots they had taken to rest.

Willa feels tears start to prickle her eyes.

"Hi friends. It's nice to see you again."

"I think...I think this might be our last visit."

"I'm just not doing that well."

"But I'll be back. I-It might be in a different form though like a midnight breeze, a small ripple in the lake, a beautiful sunset in the sky. I don't want you to think I forgot about us and all the nights we'd spend awake under the moon. Maybe instead of a sunset, I'll be another star in the sky. You'll look up and I'll be looking down and we'll sit in comfort and be at peace."

"Take care of each other, will you? Make sure the flowers bloom every spring."

"I'm sorry I didn't introduce you to Jasper either. He's my next door neighbor. He's kind of shy and doesn't really talk much—o-or at all, for the matter. But...I have faith he'll come around eventually, even if it's after I'm gone."

Willa's lips purse.

"He's the kind of person that you want to get to know and befriend and keep in your life. I got to know him pretty well I'd say. But I feel like there's still a lot I could learn...a-a lot that...that I want to learn cause..."

She bats her eyelids slowly as her body starts to tense up.

"I...he's...the closest I've ever been to some...some one other than my dad."

Willa closes her eyes in order to rid of the dizziness starting to lull her towards the waters edge, but it only makes it worse.

The stars, the fireflies, anything producing light begins pulsating brighter and brighter until her neck stiffens, until the pins and needles make their way up her entire body, and until the world around her suddenly cuts off in a freezing cold splash.


🥀

I did indeed get distracted by food, when I said I was gonna update you guys, I'm sorry about that. I got busy then I was just trying to figure out how I was going to word this.

And out of the three outcomes I had been discussing with a reader (in which I didn't tell them what outcomes, only that there were three), I think I've decided on one, so hopefully the ending of the book will go pretty smoothly, although I do work most days and have Thursday/Fridays off currently, so I'll try to get out the next update to you guys as soon as possible.

I've been trying to not to make the chapters seemed rushed because I want to be good and fluent but I am excited for what's to come after this. I just hope I can bring this book to a spot that it deserves to end at.

If you have any questions, concerns, or ideas for me, either put them in the comment section or private message me on here. I'll try to answer every single one in the same day they come and not a year after 😅.

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And I'll see all you lovelies in the next one 💕

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