scars

Chapter fifteen: family

Its been so long since I had even thought about Dakota because it's extremely hard to think about the fact that my best friend died in my arms.

"Jax what the hell happened to you we used to be family. It was me, you, AJ and Dakota we were close as family. What happened to you, why do you feel the need to do this to me. Think of what Dakota would say if she were here?" I said pulling my knife from my shoe.

"Dakota is fucking dead so it makes no difference what she would say. Plus she would hate the person you have become. She would hate all of us." Jax yelled absolutely fuming about everything.

"Jax, think about what you're doing this is my family now remember how I used to live, remember how many times you all stopped my many attempts to be free, remember how much I love you guys please don't do this, I love you like my brother because feelings like that don't just fade over night. Some twisted part of me believes that there is a chance you could change and go back to your old self." I yelled at him because this dick was being crazy.

"Make a choice bitch, pay for being the reason Dakota died or I will kill your fucking family." Jax screamed.

"Okay Jax kill me then but I have dealt with the guilt of losing Dakota and how you feel is exactly how my brothers are going to feel." I told him, knowing this wouldn't discourage him at all.

"Oh i know you hate me for something I had no control over but I would still take a bullet for everyone of you for you are my brothers but the thing about this world Jax is good thing don't happen to heroes." I replied coldly.

My jaw had me shaking in pain it was as bad as a week ago when I almost threw up.

"Los quiero mucho a todos. Hay cartas en sobres para todos los que son importantes para mí. He estado en el camino de la recuperación, pero tuve una recaída hace un par de días, así que si muero, asegurarse, mis cicatrices se limpiarán. Además, no llores por mí, no va a deshacer lo que se hizo. recuerda el cobarde muere de mil muertes, el valiente solo una." I spoke before feeling blood run down my face and in my mouth, my jaw was utterly fucked now.
(I love you all so much. There are letters in envelopes for everyone who is important to me. I have been on the road to recovery but relapsed a couple of days ago so if I die Make sure my scars are cleaned up will you. Also, don't cry for me, it won't undo what was done. Remember the coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave but one.)

I see all of my brothers tear up, they look absolutely heartbroken but what they don't know is I have just relayed that last sentence to the boss of the gang I used to be a part of before Dakota died and let's just say little old Ajax would do anything to see the earth ridden of Jax.

In fifteen minutes this will all be over, I see Leonard moving to catch my body.

"Backup is ten minutes out and he will be dead not me." I whisper to Leonard.

Jax is stalling because my current condition is very reminiscent of hers but he won't put himself through that again.

Our backup is in the path when Jax decides that he doesn't want to do this but he is far to late for running now.

Ajax comes in through the front door and I smile as he rugby tackles Jax to the ground.

"And there is our backup." I said into Leonard's ear. I stumble over to Ajax after he came back to see me.

"Thank you, I owe you one." I said as he held me up before one of my brothers was cut from their chair and pulled me into them.

"Bye Ajax I am going to be going to hospital for my jaw, Lorenzo can you take me." I asked him.

Lorenzo picked me up and drove me to the same hospital as last time and much like last time I needed another surgery because any progress had just been ruined.

So that's how I somehow avoided sharing my other secret but as soon as I can talk I know my brothers will want an explanation but for now they are treating me as if I am broken.

I think they heard about my attempts and felt like it was somewhat their fault because that is how others have reacted.

But they made me feel better nonetheless, the liquid diet was annoying but it would have to do.

Ajax had been in contact with me about going back to work with him and the rest of the team but I didn't want a repeat of what happened with my last team.

We were a family unit but when I decided not to take his offer up that was when he told me his second in command had passed away I was who would be replacing him.

If my brothers find out I know that they would be furious with both me and him. They were already annoyed that he was my back up when Jax went crazy.

Leonard was the only one as well as Lorenzo who wanted to let me explain when I could.

Ace and I had been texting each other mainly just him asking for some tips.

I found my hardware from when I was teamed with Dakota, it was full of pictures so I decided to print them off for my wall.

Dakota was like a sister to me so being able to see her again made me cry.

"The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave but one."