One Kiss

Chapter 25

Zay took a seat behind his desk. It was weird to have an office. He hadn't expected them to give him his own space, his own office. He figured they would give him the use of a room so he could speak privately with the teens who asked for someone to talk to. He smiled at the girl sitting across the desk from him.

"Hello, I'm Zayden."

Her smile was tentative. "I'm Leea. When they said there was someone I could talk to, I didn't expect the person to be my age."

He grinned at her. "It's nice to meet you, Leea. I'm here because it isn't easy for kids to talk about things like this with adults. Now, what do you want to talk about?"

She twisted her hands together. "I think I might, you know ... like girls."

He chuckled and she flinched. "I'm sorry, I wasn't laughing at you. Might?"

She lifted a slender shoulder in a half shrug. "I don't know, I mean ... I'd rather look at girls than guys."

"Are you attracted to only girls?"

Her eyes went to her lap and she shrugged again.

He sighed. It was hard enough for kids to admit to their feelings, even more difficult for them to talk about them. "There is no shame in admitting to it. It took me a long time to admit to myself that I'm gay. My parents are obsessively religious and the church they attend strictly prohibits same-sex relationships, so there was no help from them. I spent most of my life denying it because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Now that I'm finally out, I'm happier than I've been in a long while. It isn't easy, my parents are pretending I don't exist and I had to move out of the house, but I'm happy with the decision I made." He watched as she slumped in her seat.

"I'm not worried about my parents, they're super supportive of anything I want to do." She smiled. "They held a coming-out party for my mom's friend when he finally decided to tell his family that he's gay a couple of years ago."

"All right, if you aren't worried about your parents what are you worried about?"

"Making a mistake."

He smiled. "We all make mistakes, Leea, it's part of life."

"What if I announce it and then ... I'm not."

"Then you aren't. If that's all you have to worry about then wait until you're certain. Ask a girl you like out, let her know you like her but she's your first girlfriend and you aren't completely certain about things yet. If you never take that step then you'll never know for certain."

"How did you know?"

He sat back in his seat. "I never had a crush on a girl, it was always boys for me. There were no 'what if' doubts. It's not the same for everyone. I denied it for a long time and tried to date girls, but it always ended quickly. I wasn't interested in any of them."

She chewed her lip and remained silent.

"I can't tell you what it is you need to do, that is up to you. It's your decision to make, Leea. But, I am here if you need someone to talk to. I'll listen and do my best to help you work things out. But I'm not going to tell you what to do. You need to make that decision on your own."

She smiled. "Thank you."

"Any time."

She sighed. "Before I do anything I think I want to talk to my parents about it."

He smiled. "I'm sure they'll be happy to help you through it." He held out a card to her. "If you ever need to talk, call me. My cell number is on the card."