Hidden Love

Chapter 9

The doors only get to open wide enough before I am throwing myself from the elevator and into the naturally lit lobby. I don't acknowledge the two receptionists who give me stares for my odd behaviour and instead walk straight past them into the corridor leading to the studio room. My anxious brain starts to think of a reason why I am late when either Hoseok or the tour director asks why. Nevertheless, without hesitation, I force my way through one of the closed double doors and straight over to the pile of things to throw my bag down before draping my oversized hoodie over it as though I am trying to hide it from the world. Without even looking at anyone, I can feel some of the dancers watching me and it only intensifies my anxiety.

Without lifting my head to face any of the dancers or staff, I find a random spot at the back of the room to stand alone and in an attempt to hide behind the other dancers away from the staffs' onlooking stares. Not a moment later, the double doors swing open for Jimin and Jungkook to come stepping through to walk across to the other side of the room where the rest of BTS are either sitting on a chair or perched on the table.

"Hey," I hear whispered some feet away to my right.

Glancing into the corner of my eye, I see Sunghoon subtly glancing between the front of the room and myself.

"Are you okay? You look worried," he whispers again while the choreographer shouts for the rehearsals to begin.

"I'll talk to you later," I whisper back just when the music begins to play and everyone gets ready in their starting positions.

Making sure that I have a full profile of myself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror at the front of the class, I observe my every move to make sure that I have everything perfect and even though it looks like I do, I don't feel the same making frustration slowly bottle up inside me...

That feeling continues for most of the morning's practice, and to make it worse, I could feel the tour director's eyes watching me with scrutiny.

The music finishes in time for my frustration to reach its peak and just so I can feel a tiny amount of relief, I shout out my frustration as loud as my lungs will allow me to while my hands fist in my hair and my knees no longer want to hold my body's weight. Squatting miserably on the floor with my eyes squeezed shut, I can only hear the mumbles of the other dancers around the room about my outburst. A body moves swiftly to my side and a comforting hand lays on my back.

"What's wrong, (Your name)?" Sunghoon asks quietly to which I shake my head in response.

I felt like I could cry a thousand tears when I hear the choreographer calling for everyone to go to lunch but I am requested to stay behind. With pure certainty because of my outburst, I was going to be told that the opportunity that Jungkook had told me about was going to be no longer available to me.

Realising my hair from my hands, I look over at Sunghoon with my eyes brimming with tears, "I'm fine. Go for lunch."

There is an obvious look of worry that crosses Sunghoon's face and even though I could tell he wants to stay behind to make sure I'm okay, he inevitably stands up and walks away from me to gather some of his things so he can get something to eat. I watch as my only friend leaves the studio room but not without glancing over his shoulder to give me a look that's trying to tell me everything will be okay... then the door closes and I am the only dancer left in the entire room.

"(Your name), would you like to come and sit over here please?" The tour director asks monotoned but politely.

Before standing up, I look over to where the tour director is sitting and low and behold I have every single pair of eyes staring my way, waiting for me to go where I was summoned to. Taking a deep breath, I stand up and glance at myself in the mirror. It's safe to say that I look frustrated as hell, but I don't let that stop me from going where I am needed - and I don't want the director waiting much longer.