Hidden Love

Chapter 12

The following week went as smoothly as it could have gone - terribly.

Jungkook and I had completely avoided each other since the afternoon Sunghoon had come bursting into my abode with his raging jealously, and since then I've not seen Sunghoon once. Rumours have been flying around that he had been fired from the tour and it was much too late to bring in a dancer to replace him, so some of the formation for the dance routines simply has some of the dancers more spread out.

Sunghoon has tried getting a hold of me ever since I kicked him out of my flat, but the result of my heartbreak has left all his messages and calls unanswered. To be honest, I don't think our friendship will ever recover from such a blow.

In the end, I never did return the overseas contract when I was supposed to. It was bad enough being avoided, and avoiding, for seven days let alone for another two weeks or so. I just decided it would be best if everything that had happened be left in the past and we move on with our lives separately. He'll be able to enjoy the rest of the tour if I'm not lingering around only to remind him how everything came crashing down all at once. Besides, he can rekindle whatever he had with Jihan when they go over to America and I stay here, in Korea, looking for a job elsewhere.

I keep reminding myself that this is all for the best.

Besides all the downfall and abrupt endings, the first three nights of the tour had gone perfectly without a hitch in the making. Even though the screams of joy and blazing lights were not for me, it was an experience to perform with BTS in this once in a lifetime opportunity, and I'll be forever grateful to have had this opportunity even though it could have been extended to America, but it's too late for that now.

The boys will be leaving for America first thing in the morning and the dancers that were elected to go with them will be departing sometime in the afternoon. I, on the other hand, will be staying behind and making a move on the plans that I had listed myself to do when I wake up first thing in the morning.

What did I have planned for myself? Oh, yeah... forgetting about what I had with Jungkook.

That time has passed and even though my right side of my bed smelt like him for the last week, his scent is slowly drifting away making it easier to deal with the memory that has long outstayed its welcome.

What's done has been done. There is no turning back now.

My eyes gracefully glide over the spoonful of chocolate ice cream sitting in front of my face when I huff out a deep sigh of... content? Sadness? Dullness? I haven't quite got to grips with the empty hollow that used to be my heart. The TV is playing some pointless show that I haven't even paid attention to for the last ten minutes; my brain is much too preoccupied with the what-ifs if I had just handed in my oversea contract.

"Forget it, (Your name)," I sigh heavily while dropping the spoon back into the tub of ice cream and then discarding the tub on top of my coffee table.

Practically throwing my head onto the cushion beside me, I curl up on my sofa and daze into my TV screen so that my brain can think everything through for the millionth time; the sound from my TV becomes a distant noise to fill my apartment with some sort of life. Just as another silent sigh escapes me and my eyes had closed to try and nap through my thoughts, there is a gentle knock on my door stirring me completely away from my thoughts and feelings - if I had any feelings that is.

It's been a week since anybody besides myself has been at my front door. I'm not friendly with any of my neighbours and the only friend I had decided to screw everything up so I'm left all by myself with absolutely no one.

No one.

Just me.

It's oddly calming, but terrifying at the same time.