Adler Russell x Reader - CALL OF DUTY: BLACK OPS COLD WAR - "Our secret scars"

Reconciliation

I pretend to not hear him and hold my breath. Not only did the door's cold iron make me shiver, in fact I threw away Adler's jacket on the floor before entering my room, but also the thought about him using me like the others. Ugh, I should have known about his plans. A soldier can't take care of a woman if he's on the battle ground, figures an important person who almost leads a squad in an illegal mission from which depends the entire Europe and America's reputation.
Although that, Park and Lazar's relationship seems pretty real to me.
I almost forgot why I'm laying on the door.
Is he still here?
"I know you're pretending to not hear me, Bell." - he stops banging.
I wait for a couple of seconds, hoping to hear footsteps, but the only thing I hear is his breath through the door.
"What do you want, Russell?" - I give up.
"So I'm not Adler for you anymore." - he sighs.
"And I'm not a hobby for you anymore!" - I give a punch to the door and regret it immediately.
"Shit!"
My cut on the clavicle returns to hurt, plus my hand is red.
"You won't solve anything if you get angry with a door."
His calm voice makes me more angry. How can he react in this way?! He clearly doesn't care.
I step back and press with my healthy arm the hurting point.
"Go away!" - I wishpers as loud as I can, I don't want anyone to hear nothing from us.
"It was very humiliating standing in front of Hudson and hearing the truth, so please, go away." - tears roll down my cheeks.
I sit on the one size bed and cover my head.
"Bell, this is not the truth, let me explain."
"There's nothing... to explain." - it's hard to talk.
Silence.
Shit, he must know I'm crying.
"Can I come in?"
I want to let him in and run in his big arms, but I don't want to forgive him neither.
The handle snaps and Adler comes into the dorm.
I rub my eyes, trying to dry my tears.
I can't see a damn thing but I can hear some slow footsteps.
Then I feel the mattress going down and the bed springs creak under Adler's weight.
The weak flame from the candle will goes out soon.
"Really... You don't have to be here, just... go, please." - I sigh.
Maybe I gave him a wrong impression the first time I accepted him flirting with me.
I wanted a serious thing while he only wanted to spend dead moments with someone.
"Bell, let me explain."
He tries to hug me but I move.
"No, you have to excuse me. I misunderstood your intentions and now we end in this embarrassing situation. I've never had something serious before so I'm not kinda an expert, and I threw myself in this story and didn't get closer and closer by time so-."- I blurt this out.
"No,no." - Adler interrupts me. " I knew you would've think something like that but I promise Hudson was just pissing off the entire team. He's been exposed and I'm still shocked from what I heard. His attitude is the worst but if I turn against him; I would loose my job and only god can know what would happen to me.
He's the leader here, Bell, and even if I'm your superior it doesn't mean I don't have one too.."
I stopped crying but still cannot watch him.
"It makes sense, but what about Hudson said? How can I know that he was laying?"
"Bell."- he gently grabs my face and makes me look at him. "I would never do something like this to a lady, especially if that lady is you. I can play with weapons, with words, I can be ironic and a dick sometimes, but I never play with feelings."
He let me go so I slip into the bed.
The candle on my nightstand is almost consumed: I wonder if my tears appeared to Adler like this hot wax rolling down.
I don't know what to say, I don't know what to believe anymore.
"Bell?" - he's looking at me for a reaction.
"Still here." - I replay sarcastically.
"I mean... Do you believe me? I couldn't explain everything in front of everyone. You know they can just suspend me from this mission, and I don't think anybody would have the nerve to find Perseus and take him down. I just want to save as many lives as I can." - he comes closer to me. "And then, when this mess is over, we can do whatever we want. I will be done with American army."
I close my eyes and smile, because I don't fool for it.
"Yeah, Adler Russel, a team's superior, who decide to quit special forces just to stay with a girl that he met on job. Ah-ah. Nice joke."
"I'm serious."
"I would've believe you but now I don't."
"You're so stubborn." - he sighs and gets up. "Anyway, I reported your injury to Hudson and fortunately he got the situation, next mission will be... I think next month, I'm not sure. We need time to classificate all the photos you made inside the structure, all the informations etc. Even if it will be a long time for the call..."
I raise an eyebrow; I'm so pissed off I even get some informations for these fuckers, they don't deserve them.
"...we decided it would be best for you to stay at the safehouse." - Adler concludes.
"Are you serious?!"- I stare him into his eyes.
So Hudson think I'm inadequate now. I mean, it's not bad to stay here, drink hot tea and coffee while the others are outside risking life, but it's so humiliating.
The feeling after an accomplished mission cannot beat all the relax in the world.
"Bell, it's an order-"
"Fuck you and your orders!"- I throw at him my military shirt.
He grabs it in the air without a problem and puts it down on the chair next to my bed.
He keeps calm and looks at me like an older father looks at his teen daughter.
"Is it because of this?..." - I ask showing my shoulder.
"No, no. It's..." - he looks around the room, searching for words. "It's a complicated task, you have to climb on the top of a mountain, it will be cold and it's on enemies' territory-"
"And where is the problem?" - I can't understand. "I've been in worst places, c'mon man."
I try to convince Adler but he's unwavering.
"Bell, I told you. Do you see Park going outside somewhere? Only if we need the whole team."
"Yeah because she's not specialized into this. But I am. Please, I don't want to sit here knowing that Woods, Mason, Lazar or... you, are out there."
"We thought this call will be suitable for Woods and Mason actually, so I'm gonna stay at the safehouse."
My heart starts to beat faster.
Stop it Bell.
"Uh.. That's okay, I suppose."
Keep being uncaring, Bell. At least only outside.
Adler seems to know that I'm trying to hide my feelings.
"Well" - he smiles. "Time for me to go back my dorm."
He heads to the door and opens it.
"Adler, wait."
He freezes and looks back.
"What's up?"
"I'm sorry for... You know, for what I've said." - I low my head, feeling guilty.
"Don't worry I didn't get angry, I understand."
He steps forward, to the corridor.
"Why don't you stay here?" - I ask. "I know it's not the best option after what Hudson said but-"
"As I said, he's just full of bullshit, he tried to hit a weak point but he doesn't know. He's probably thinking that you're mad because he accused you. He was never a smart guy, you can tell by the last thing we discovered; not smart sending a team where you're hiding a bigger secret than your pockets."
"Yeah" - I chuckle. "You're right. So what about my question?"
"You have not to tell me twice."
He closes the door and gets back to my bed.
The fire on the candle turns off and our kissing shadows disappear from the wall.