Althea

|𝟯𝟴| 𝗕𝗲𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆

I haven't left the comfort of Enzo's bed in a good few days. Maybe it's not good for my health or very hygienic but I like to think that I have a right to not want to do anything.

I keep getting these flashbacks. Of him on top of me. The sound of his belt unbuckling. When he forcibly dragged me down that hall and to his bedroom and threw me on the bed.

His voice. It was raspy and sounded like he ate cigarettes for breakfast...lunch and dinner. Maybe a snack to.

And he kept repeating the same thing over and over again. "He deserves this. He deserves this. He deserves this." Over and over again.

Every time I think about it, I think about momma. And what she went through with dad. How she was abused.

That man hurt me and he almost...he almost sexually assaulted me. So I can't help but think what is was like for her to go through that every single day.

Whether it was abuse or...or something even worse.

The covers are thrown off of me because it got to hot and now I'm cold but I don't feel like sitting up to grab the covers again.

I may go blind from just laying here and staring out Enzo's very tall windows as the snow continues to fall. It's very bright snow.

There's still dried tears on my cheeks. It's something about the night time where I just want to break down and cry because that's when the memories are more prominent.

When I can feel his touch all over me. It makes me want to puke. It makes me just want to curl up into as small a ball as I can and disappear. Disappear where? I have no idea.

I cry. I stare at the wall and I cry. I cry so much that my eyes hurt and my head hurts and my fists hurts from hitting myself in the face repeatedly, trying to stop the tears.

And then I hear the bedroom door open and the tears instantly stop. He can't see me cry. I told him I was fine. That I was okay. He can't see me cry.

Then he'll know. He'll know that I'm not fine. That I lied. And we told each other we wouldn't do that anymore.

I feel the bed dip as Enzo sits on it. And then I feel his hands on me, trying to get me to turn over to face him but I don't budge. I aggressively wipe at my tears.

"Althea." He says my name and my heart instantly stops beating so quickly . My heart doesn't hurt when he says my name.

And then he says it again. "Althea, baby." Baby.

I turn over and face him, my eyes probably bloodshot red. I'm hiccuping, trying to catch my breath. I stare at his chest, not looking at him as he hovers over me on the bed.

"Look at me, please." He sounds so heart broken. He sounds like he's straining to keep his cool.

My hands shake. They never shake. His hands are the ones that shake. Not mine.