Post Breakup Rituals

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The guests had outed

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The guests had outed. My engagement with Shagun had been called off. There was going a serious discussion in hall whether I did was right or wrong. On one side, there were badi maa, bade papa and chachu while on the other side was dad. Opinion of others didn't matter so they had shut their mouths.
As I knew, my uncle and aunt were against the bride who wanted to pursue her carrier. My father was insisting of giving her a chance to explain the matter. But, there was nothing left.
My father was siding her, saying that in this modern era, every girl needs to be independent and being the members of prestigious college which is one of the best, all over the country, we shouldn't refuse to let any girl from studying.

Maybe he was right, we shouldn't do this. But, the thing here was, she was not any ordinary girl, she was the girl who was going to be my wife. Dad didn't use to share his opinion much, but the time his son needed him, he was not with me. He used to be drunk always, but now when he was sober, with all his conscious he was not siding his son, comforting him. He never shared any talk with me in which he said that he didn't like me directly or indirectly. But, if that was not the matter, then why on earth he never trusted me or sided with me?

Of all, he should at least understand me. After all, he too had a working wife and his marriage was called off, I am the living proof; Like remained ashes of a burnt castle. Why did he want his son to have his marriage broken up? Why he wanted the same fate for me, the hell with this stupidity.
Whatever he wanted, I didn't care. I just knew one thing, I could not let another child live a life like mine. A single day could not be completed without remembering Miss Aastha kashyap, my mom. It was obvious that her matter rose up once again and dad sided with her once again as always.

He admitted that he was not been a good father, but he said that my mom was not a wrong person and he regretted not taking her side by standing with her or having guts to stop her.

But how should I react to this news?

So, he knew he had not been a great father since previous more than 2 decades.
He was also accepting his failure as a husband.

It was not concerned to me yet it directly affected me.
As usual, I felt too numb for any emotions. It was not my fault that so much had happened to me once and for all.
What was I supposed to feel?
Anger, pity, pain.... Everything just in a moment ?
This situation was not different for me, yet I was not habitual to it.

I was too broken and nobody was there to care for me. Everyone had got a topic, which was more interesting than my pathetic state. Badi maa-papa and chachu never let go of any chance to curse my mummy. My father had entered the field to defend her. I was the center of attraction of all that talks, but they had forgotten me in all of this much earlier.

So, I excused myself from all of that and climbed upstairs to my room, had changed my clothes and again whole scenario started rewinding in my mind non-stop. It was like a tape-recorder on auto-play mode without any pause button. I had to watch that again and again. On all of that, Shagun was continuously calling me. I had no option than refusing the call everytime. When she was done with calling, she sent an audio message. I knew what she wanted to say and I was in no mood to listen her at least then. Before I could swipe that off, my fingers tapped the play button. They were used to do this on seeing her messages.

𝙋𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙊𝙛 𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙪𝙧𝙮𝙖 𝙎𝙖𝙗𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙬𝙖𝙡Where stories live. Discover now