A Song Just For You (GirlxGirl)

16- Worries

Back in Yokohama, I headed off to work in the afternoon, deciding to work more during the summer to save up money to move out after high school. The dreadful heat made it hard to walk home, the only thing keeping me from not dying from this heat was the thought of working in an air conditioned shop. When I walked in the ramen shop, I could immediately feel the difference- it was refreshing. I didn't see anyone at first when I walked in,  so I headed towards the back of the shop to find Minato, but he wasn't there. I opened up the back door and looked in both directions.

    He was leaning up against the wall smoking a cigarette, I starred at him, "You know the shop is open right?"

     "Yeah," He said nonchalantly as he stepped on his cigarette that he had dropped on the ground. We headed back inside,

    "I was in Tokyo" I tried to break the silence by starting a conversation that really wasn't going anywhere.

    "Yeah? Did you check out the Uni?

    "No I was with Nani"

    He chuckled as he poured a sake shot for himself, "Still haven't told her yet?"

    "It's too soon, I still don't know if I'll get it. And she hasn't told me anything about her plan either. I'll tell her if I get accepted. Anyways I went to Tokyo for her volleyball game so it was a short trip. How is Hirato?"

     "He is visiting his family in Hiroshima." He didn't sound too pleased when telling me this. He took a sake shot, pouring another one immediately after.

    "You know you're at work yeah?" He made eye contact with me as he took the next shot. I laughed,
"Anyways, why didn't you go?"

     "He invited me but I have work and I don't want to impose."

     I grabbed the sake bottle from him, "How long is he there for?"

     "A month"

    "I'll cover your shifts this month, but you should go to Hiroshima and spend the month with him and his family"

    He laughed and rubbed my hair with his hand, "Okay, okay, thanks Mika I owe you one. I'll leave tomorrow"

     I smiled, it was weird- I would do anything for Minato. To see him happy, to see him and Hirato be happy together. Even though I haven't known Minato for very long- ever since I have met him, there has always been a strong connection between us.

    And for the next month, I was going to work everyday. The only thing I did all summer was work, drink, and spend all my free time I had with Nani. Trying to stay indoors, out of the heat.

    "Another shot?"

     Miu was more of a drinker than I thought. I was at the bar with Akio, Miu, and Nani- Minato, and Hirato were still in Hiroshima visiting Hirato's family. Just another summer night spent at the bar. I started playing piano almost every night that we were here, which was basically every night. Music club was still being held two days a week at school during the summer. I ended up setting a schedule with my piano teacher, meeting him once a week for two hours during the summer. Learning new songs and studying music content, it gets boring. I wanted to make my own music- I wanted to make my own piece- my own piano song, to tell my own story.

A part of my application to the University of Tokyo to get into the music department was having to audition. I wanted to audition with my own music piece- I was going to.

    "You look tired" Akio said as we sat at the bar table together.

    I forcefully laughed, "Just been doing a lot."

    Nani and Miu were having their own side conversation while sitting across from each other. My fake smile and laugh faded as I took another sake shot.

    "Any news with college?"

    "No, Akio want another shot?" I laughed and looked at Nani making sure she didn't hear Akio.

     An hour later, Nani and I left the bar, it was past midnight, another humid night, I could feel my palms starting to sweat while holding her hand as we walked down the street in Yokohama.

    "I heard Akio ask you about college" She said calmly. I looked over at her as we were walking, the lights on the street lit only half of her face. She glanced over at me and then looked down at the ground,"Do you have a plan?" She didn't seem nervous asking me this.

    "Not really, can we not talk about it?"

     She let go of my hand as we walked up to her apartment building, "Mika, what are you so worried about?"

     We got onto the elevator and headed to her apartment floor. I didn't want to look at her or answer her question. I saw her hand reach over to grab mine, I looked up at her and she wrapped her arm around me- leaning in to kiss me. The elevator opened and we walked into her apartment. We both did not mention the topic again. Her eyes were bright, even in the dark room. I wonder what I look like in her eyes- I wonder what she thought of me. I pulled her closer, kissing her. Her mouth was hot.

    She grabbed my hand and we stood up from where we were, "Let's take this to the bed."

    She held my hand as I followed her upstairs. I had to hold on to her, trying to find my balance as we walked up the stairs to her room. I could see the whole city from her living room, I could see the city when walking up stairs, as she threw me on to her bed- I saw the city lights shinning bright behind her. She started taking off her clothes as I lifted myself half up from the bed watching her strip naked.

The silhouette of her body standing in front of me, in the dark room with the only light coming from the city. She climbed on top of me, leaning me back onto the bed kissing me. Her skin was smooth. I could feel my heart beating louder the lower her lips got. I don't think I will ever get used to this feeling.

    When she asked me what I was worried about- I wanted to tell her that I was scared of losing her. I was scared she would find someone new. That she would eventually fall back in love with a guy. That she would end up realizing she wanted to be with a guy in the end- that I was only a stage- that it seem to be the normal thing to do, to love someone of the opposite sex. I wanted to tell her that I was worried about living in different places for our college years.

I was worried one day she would leave me.

I was worried that I was going to be alone.