A Song Just For You (GirlxGirl)

20- College Talk

A new year has arrived, I walk up to Nani who was watching the fireworks from the balcony of her apartment. She was wearing bunny pajama shorts with an oversized button up shirt only half way buttoned. I lit a cigarette as I stood next to her watching the loud colorful fireworks go off in the sky.

     "Do you like fireworks?" She asked as she stared at the night sky. I looked over at her, she was holding a bottle of sake in her hand as she was leaning over the balcony.

    "Yes," I said while staring at her.

     I spent most nights at her place, I basically lived with her half of the time. I burnt out my cigarette and went back in her apartment, the painting my mom had made for her hung above her bed. It was a painting of two women. One women with long black hair stood behind a shorter girl, covering her breast with her pale arms. Even though my mom never said it, I think it was a painting of Nani and I. It was beautiful. And that New Years Eve night, I got an email from Tokyo University of Arts- saying that I had been accepted.

I got in!

    I texted Suki who I met at Tokyo University a couple months ago.

Congrats! We'll have to celebrate when you get here! Happy New Year!

    She was the first person I told. I should have ran straight to Nani and told her or called my mom in excitement, but I felt anxious more than anything.

    I was wearing black silk pajamas and slippers as I walked into the living room. Nani was watching some anime movie while drinking hot coffee. I laid my body across the couch, with my head on her thighs looking up at her. She looked down, "Morning cutie."

    Nani bent down and kissed the top my head. We went out to the bar that night, it was New Years day. I wore black pants and an oversized random anime shirt with a black hoodie over. Nani was wearing a light blue turtle neck with brown leather pants and a white oversized jacket with boots.

    Minato, always kept his hair cut short even though I always thought he would look more handsome with long hair. Hirato, started putting his fluffy golden hair in a messy bun. Akio, still kept up with dying his hair pink even though I tried begging him to dye it a different color so I could see what he would look like. Miu, still had his medium short hair in a half up half down pony tail, claiming he would never wear one of those "hipster man buns" -what he called it. Nani, still had her long black shinny hair that she refused to get cut and would only trim it herself. As for me, I grew out my hair for a short time, but recently cut it back to the wolf style haircut I had when I first moved to Yokohama.

    By the end of the night, there were over ten empty bottles of sake we ended up drinking together and I drank three surprise cocktails on top of that. I stood up while everyone was talking, it was almost midnight. Everyone looked at me confused and drunk, I walked over to the piano and pressed my fingers on the lowest keys of the piano. The whole bar went silent. The bar was mostly known to be a gay bar, so everyone basically knew each other. I was drunk and really didn't know what I was doing as I stood in front of the piano spacing off into the distance. I recollected myself when I heard someone shout, "Mika! What are you doing?" Then a couple other voices yelling at me to play something.

    I was standing in front of the piano, I smiled at everyone but didn't look directly at anyone. I got up on the bench then stood up on top of it, "I AM GOING TO PLAY A SONG!" People started laughing, "GUYS GUYS GUYS" I looked over at the table where all my friends were and Nani was, "I GOT IN TO TOKYO UNIVERSITY" I didn't see much of Nani's reaction. But I soon later realized that her smile disappeared when I said these words. I sat back down and started playing a song. It was an upbeat lighthearted song that I could probably play half asleep- mostly why I decided to play it. Being that I was drunk, it was the best option that I picked on a limb.

     After the song I walked back to the table. Hirato held up a shot of sake up towards me and took a shot, "CONGRATS!"

    "Congrats" Minato smiled.

    "Yeah congrats" Miu took another shot

    "Congrats" Akio waved his beer towards me.

    I sat back down and looked at Nani, she smiled but did not say anything, she just took another shot of sake. The next day I woke up in her bed, but she wasn't there. I got up and took a shower then walked down stairs to see her drinking coffee on the couch staring at the television.

    She looked up at me as I walked up to her, "Were you ever going to tell me?" She asked as she stared up at me.

    "I'm sorry" I sat down next to her, "I was drunk, I wanted to tell you before that but," I paused and looked down at my hands that were shaking, "I was scared."

    "Scared of what?" She handed me her coffee, "Is that why you went to Tokyo? I knew something has been up. Why didn't you tell me?"

     I sipped the coffee that was cold from the ice she had put in it, "Yes, I went to Tokyo twice actually. I went to just visit the first time and then I went with Minato and Hirato for my audition."
     "Why?"

    I looked over at her, she had a sad expression on her face. My heart ached, I was trying to protect something, I was trying to protect her. I was trying to protect us. I was trying to protect me. I held onto the cup tightly while looking down at the coffee, "I didn't want to loose you," I stared into the coffee cup that was almost empty, "I'm scared. I'm scared of what will happen to us after we graduate."

    "I'm going to Kobe University"

    "In Kobe?"

    "Yeah" She stared at me as we sat in silence for a second, "At least it's a little closer than Yokohama" She laughed then kissed me,"Everything will work out, Mika. No matter where we are, we will still be together."

    "But we won't be together, it's not like it's a quick trip Nani, this is going to be the next four or five years of our life."

    Was I the only one bothered by this? Was I the only one worried? The only one upset? The only one with doubts? Was I crazy? Was this wrong of me to think these things? She looked so calm.

    "I know, but I don't want anyone else but you, so I will wait for you no matter how far you are away and no matter how long that will be."

     The last few train rides I took to Tokyo didn't seem that long, nor that far from where we lived. Not until now. Now Tokyo seemed further than before. I do not know what to say, I want to believe her. I set the coffee down on the table in front of the couch and moved closer to Nani.

    "I don't want to lose you" I said to her as I leaned in towards her lips.

    I wanted to be as close as possible to her. I felt her tongue on mine, she tasted like coffee. I wanted more- I pushed her down on the leather couch and kissed her neck while lifting up her shirt feeling my way up her stomach to her chest. I kissed her body down to her thighs, pulling down the white silk pants she was wearing. She wore black lace panties that I slowly pulled down her pale thighs. Kissing my way back up to the most sensitive part of her body. I felt my tongue melt into her. The way she looked as I put my fingers inside of her, I didn't want anyone else to see that look.

    I want her to only be mine.

                    Always.

                                Forever.

    I never want to let her go.

                     What a childish thing to think

    I can't help but think this, was this what love was? Is this what people think when they are in love?