Yooji: Love is War [Winrina]

28: Oh, God

               Have I ever been hurt before?

               The answer would be, yes, I have.

               Multiple times.

               All because of my parents’ negligence and shortcomings.

               The first time was when I was six years old; when they failed to show up in a major competition I was competing in.

               I remember playing the piano like a programmed robot; a human metronome who strictly followed the music score sheet without fail—without any emotion to draw in the crowd because I was too occupied drowning in the ocean of sadness for the apparent lack of support of the people dear to me.

               Jisoo was there to cheer me on, even had that look of pride when I was announced as the victor, but even that wasn’t enough to erase the pain away.

               The second was my first family day as a primary school student; they were too busy to accompany me and participate in the activities the organizers prepared. 

               I was forced to enjoy the event with only Jisoo as my family while trying to ignore the envy gnawing inside my chest seeing my classmates happily bonding with their parents.

               The third was when I spent my 9th birthday alone in our deserted house because my parents thought I was already a big girl who doesn’t bother with parties anymore and chose to work at the hospital all day instead; no calls nor messages.

               Jisoo would’ve celebrated my birthday with me if only she had no thesis to work on that would require her to spend the entire day in the public library nearby; promising to make it up to me the next day which I really appreciated.

               My parents?

               They just went on with their lives as if nothing happened; as if they did not just hurt their youngest child by acting nonchalant about my special day.

               That’s when I finally drew the line.

               I ultimately decided to just stop caring and all.

               I had enough.

               Ever since then, I chose to put up sturdy walls around my heart, swearing to myself that I would never let anyone hurt me again; not even my so-called parents.

               I would have never imagined that it would only take one Winter Kim — the same person I had sworn to hate all my life — to smash those walls that guarded my heart for years into smithereens like nobody’s business.

               God was it painful to see her regard me as nothing when she used to look at me as if I was her everything.

               I hate it.

               I hate it so much.

               She was supposed to be in love with me…

               Ah, fuck it.

               I shouldn’t be mulling over this at this moment; not when I am in the middle of the mall.

               “I’m sorry about Mj,” Ryujin spoke, bringing my attention back to her. “I have no idea what’s running in her mind.”

               After purchasing the book that she wanted, we decided to roam around the mall to while the time away before we return to school since there’s still an hour left before the festival begins.