Yooji: Love is War [Winrina]

29: Crawl Back

               Never had I imagined that someone would come barging into my life capable of making me question my whole life; a person who had the capability to make me feel various unwanted emotions—which I presumed was just a product of humans’ imagination.

               Don’t you find it scary?

               To meet someone who would make you realize how wrong everything you believed in all this time; someone who will make you break your own rules just by simply existing.

               Because I do.

               To begin with, I am not very fond of changes—especially if it was something I hadn’t seen coming.

               I don’t know how exactly I was able to get back home that day since I wasn’t in the right state of mind after the unforeseen realization that I had in spite of Aeri’s loud voice repeatedly calling for me to come back.

               I had no idea how to face Winter after what happened; how to face the fact that I kind of have feelings for her.

               Or maybe, I just do not want to face it.

               I am scared...

               ...for an entirely different reason.

                And it was silly because I used to find it very stupid before.

               I had seen numerous romance films growing up—including those wherein the main character was too late to realize their feelings and end up watching the other main character fall in love with someone else or get over them in the distance because there was nothing they could do about it.              

               I recall the frustration that I would be having back then seeing the protagonist make idiotic choices while grumbling to myself: Why couldn’t they just wrap their mind around the fact that they were freaking in love with the other person?

               Little did I know...

               ...I would wind up in the same situation as them.

               The universe really had its own way to mess up with you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

               That being said, I highly doubt Winter had already moved on nor had she already fallen for someone else in a very short period of time when she had been in love with me for years.

               Still, I couldn’t help myself from expecting the worst-case scenario. Winter had always been an unpredictable person, after all.

               That night, I indulged myself in coming up with effective methods to have her acknowledge me again—that and if I should allow her to be aware of my change of heart right away.

               If I did, would she come running back to me with that sickening smirk on her face? Or she would find it as an insincere confession and would take it as some sort of a scheme to trick her into reconciling with me?

              I leaned back on my chair, puffing a sharp sigh in exasperation.

               Ugh.

               This was so complicated.

               I pushed my hair back, my gaze falling on the miniature Howl’s moving castle placed on the corner of my study table.