Is This All You Want? (annyeongz version)

Chapter 15

There have been countless reimaginings of meeting Yujin that have been conjured up in Wonyoung's mind such as, but not limited to: (a) a random encounter at the grocery store; (b) Yujin bringing her hypothetical child to the school where Wonyoung works ten years or so later; and (c) Wonyoung moving to Japan and seeing Yujin there on a family vacation or a business trip or whatever. Many reimaginings indeed. But Wonyoung never would have thought that Yujin would rush to her aid... again.

Wonyoung sits outside of the familiar convenience store. The orange, red and green lights are a weird combination, aren't they? She could say the same thing about herself and her companion right now. Wonyoung can clearly hear the Universe laughing at her. How is it that they always meet like this, when Wonyoung's at her worst state? Yujin comes out of the store, holding a plastic bag. She said she would buy some food that would supposedly give them a sense of comfort or perhaps emotional support. She decides on ice cream, the food for all occasions.

"I hope you don't mind," Yujin says as she sits next to her on the dinky plastic table and chair set, "they only have chocolate."

Wonyoung takes the little plastic cup filled to the brim with chocolate flavored ice cream that looks like it has been frozen and melted and then frozen again before reaching her hands. Yujin stares at her with furrowed brows and a frown, leaving Wonyoung perplexed. What is she so mad about? The girl takes out a band aid, some cotton balls and a little plastic bottle of Betadine from the bag she got from the mart. She pushes Wonyoung's hair out of the way to scrutinize the bite mark on her neck with a disapproving look. Wonyoung attempts to push Yujin's hand away, insisting that it's nothing, that she's fine.

"Why are you so stubborn?" Yujin complains as she puts some Betadine on the cotton, "Don't move."

"Why are you doing this?" Wonyoung flinches as the antiseptic comes in contact with her wound.

"Because you're hurt."

Why does she always respond with the most obvious answer?

"Why are you here?"

"Wouldn't you rather know how I got here?" Yujin quirks her brow.

"You took a cab?" Wonyoung rolls her eyes, "Look, I figured that part out."

Wonyoung doesn't miss the twitch of Yujin's lip. While her eyes remain unreadable, Yujin is, unmistakably, caught off guard by Wonyoung's conclusion. And Wonyoung is still, as usual, proud of breaking Yujin's sweat.

"You must've overheard Junyeong, huh?" Wonyoung surmises, "Heard him talk about me and the things he did to me then? He must've been so cocky about it too," she scoffs, "Thought he was so good at fucking girls. You felt so sorry for me and my pitiful existence, didn't you?"

She feels the sting in her eyes and the crack in voice. Her heart breaks at her own words. Wonyoung must admit. She's embarrassed. Oh, the shame she has brought upon herself. And who is to blame, really? No one but herself.

It makes sense now. More than ever. Wonyoung can't even look at Yujin. Why else would she have booked her Friday schedules? Why else would she have wasted her time and money on her? Wonyoung was never wrong about her. Yujin is too goddamn pure for the world, too pure for Wonyoung.

"What was I to you? Just your little charity case? A side project on Friday nights? Someone you could fix?" Wonyoung wants to leave. She can't be around Yujin right now.

It's weird, isn't it? She'd been longing for her for so long. And now... she just wants to hide again, hide her shame, her choices. Just hide the mess that she's made of her life.

As she pushes herself away from the table to get up, Yujin takes a deep breath, so clearly exasperated by Wonyoung's questions. She has too many questions, she'd say.