Cherished by The King |BxB|

Chapter 9

The vampire ahead of me was filling the tub, nearly boiling hot water being poured into it. The room was soon filled with thick steam, intensifying the conflicted thoughts I was having.

For a long time, I had liked this man. He was gentle, kind and sweet. He treated me like a human kind, and he didn't ever do anything I didn't want. He had brought me down from the cellar to this amazing world, sharing every moment with me. He was just perfect.

I was attracted to him, I couldn't deny that.

Aside from his personality— well, he was hot as fuck. I just wanted to touch him, touch him all the ways possible.

....but I didn't know if that was something I would like. I was scared that I would hate it, that I couldn't bare intimacy. I wanted to have that with him, but I didn't know if my trauma was too hefty to have it. Never had I ever had an urge to kiss someone, hug someone, or even touch someone. But for some reason, this man had brought it all up once again.

My childhood had been taken away from me, and all that time I had thought that I couldn't be in a sexual, or loving relationship. I got sick when people touched me, got sick if they even looked at me. I have had literal panic attacks when some startled me around the corner, or when someone talked a little mean to me. I always thought that I should be ashamed of what I had been through.

I thought it had been my fault.

My throat became stricter as I mulled over my thoughts, my brown eyes carefully watching the vampire's movements.

That was yet another thing I was supposed to be scared of.

Vampires.

I couldn't spend a minute in their company. All they reminded me of was the awful and violent people who had had their way with me. Who had killed my parents right before my eyes.

Nothing could ever take that pain away.

But, for some reason, this man didn't frighten me.

He hugged me, took care of me. And it looked like he was going to stay, no matter what happened. I felt like maybe I could give myself a chance.

Beat the monster inside of me. 

"Lynx," I mumbled, the other innocently humming as he tried the water's temperature with the tip of his fingers. There was only so little space between us, that soon closed as I stepped towards him.

"Lynx," I repeated, a bit stronger this time. Though it still wasn't enough to catch the full attention of the crouching vampire.

"What is it, Darling?" he asked, my nerves hitting the top of the ceiling. What was I going to even say— what did I want?

I stared at him for a moment, deep blush on my cheeks. I wanted to feel him closer, to see if I'd like it. I wanted to show him how much I appreciated his kindness.

I didn't think that pleasure was what I was running after, no. I didn't think that I could ever feel pleasure within sexual acts. My schema of sex and other things like that only included the other's pleasure, and in my end, only the pain. But I wanted to try it again, whether it would actually be like people said it was.

I wanted to show him my gratitude— because if we're real, he's the only reason why I hadn't thought of killing myself in a while. It might sound messed up, but in my head, it didn't.

I would be ready to go through that same kind of pain if that made him happy.

"Lynx, turn around," I mumbled, lowering my hand to his back before grabbing his collar.