Kitten [18+] ✔️

Ch. 28 - Victor

"Vic, you can't just stay on my couch for the rest of your life."

I groaned as Adam's voice sounded out behind me as the dull murmur of the TV quickly cut out, turning to bury my face into the cushions that had become my bed over the past few weeks. It looks like the good will from Adam stopped here, knowing I'd run out of clean clothes after a rushed visit back to my place.

The laundry wasn't exactly the reason, more so that I've managed to blow through most of my wardrobe by this point. It was a signal that – if nothing else – I'd overstayed my welcome. But just going home was a terrifying idea in and of itself.

I got a text from Mara the night I'd walked out on her saying she was going to stay with her parents while I 'figured my shit out', but I still couldn't go back and confront such a solid reminder of the life we'd built together. Just rushing in there to get some clothes hurt, not wanting to face all the reminders of her after telling as much of my truth as I could. I'd felt like an alien in the place I'd lived for almost 7 years. The place that had become our home.

And I couldn't go to John's, I couldn't say anything to John. He already knew the wedding was off; if he caught wind of the fresh hell I'd unleashed going after Kat, he'd be insufferable. There would be an unending stream of 'I told you so's if he knew, and I hated that he was right. Despite how much she probably hated my guts, Kat did make me feel special, and loved.

She's damn good at her job.

But I still missed her, I missed her so fucking much. Even thinking it was all an act, that she'd really hated our time together, I still yearned for her, and it was taking a toll on me physically. I wasn't taking care of myself, was barely scraping by at work, hardly ate, and showered the bare minimum I could get away with.

Showers were... too painful.

I flinched when Adam pulled the blanket away from my body, curling in on myself and hiding my scruffy face from what was almost certainly a judgemental look in his eyes. Adam's a free spirit, but it seems like I've managed to push even him to his limit.

"Dude, who cares about what you did as a kid? People change – from the sounds of it, you changed a hell of a lot," he added as I shook my head.

I haven't changed at all. But Kat had to change.

I'd thought all those years ago that she just moved away, had thanked my lucky stars that I didn't have to fight with myself over how I felt about her anymore. I let myself forget her and everything I'd put her through, thoroughly repressed it, because I hated myself for it.

But she'd said she never had high school boyfriends, and it looked like she was taking care of her mother on her own. She said she couldn't get another job that could support them both.

She must have dropped out.

And I felt like it was my fault. Even if I wasn't the only one to pick on her, I hadn't stopped it. I hadn't discouraged it, hadn't stood up for her because I was afraid of what other people would think of me. Hell, I'd encouraged it.

If I'd just endured a bit of hardship then, would Kat have ended up in her current situation?

"She changed too," I croaked, grimacing at how hoarse I was after the constant cycle of disuse and abuse my vocal cords had been going through. 

"God, she has to put up with so much trouble because I was a little shit. She had a damn black eye – someone hurt her – and she just has to accept it as part of the job!"

Adam sighed, watching him cross his arms as I peeked over my shoulder hesitantly. "So, you feel responsible, you love her, and you're moping on my couch because...?" he prompted, lifting a hand and motioning for me to fill in the blanks.