Kitten [18+] ✔️

Ch. 30 - Victor

"She wouldn't even tell me if the bartender was single..."

Adam's lamentation over the phone was starting to become more unbearable than the anxiety of waiting in my car alone, tempted to hang up as he whined from his apartment. He'd gone back home last night after staying with me a few days, helping me get settled in again; much as I appreciated him and everything he'd done for me, he was starting to grate on my nerves.

"You could have just asked her yourself, you were there," I huffed, leaning my forehead against the steering wheel, and watching the hour on my dashboard as it approached 2am. It felt like I was waiting for an execution – the anticipation and dread had me wishing time would just stop while simultaneously begging to just get on with it already.

"The bar was busy as hell – and why didn't you tell Kat you weren't getting married? You knew like a full 2 weeks out that you were gonna call it off."

I grimaced, flopping back in my seat; I wouldn't be surprised if the forward and back routine I'd been doing for the past half hour had left a new line on my forehead. "I didn't wanna say anything 'till I'd actually done it; I didn't want to make empty promises if I chickened out. And after everything with John, I was scared she'd think I was jumping into things too fast."

"I mean, you are."

Letting out a long sigh, I shifted forward again. He was right, but I didn't have to like it. "Adam, it's 2 – I'm gonna just wait it out here," I muttered, my eyes sliding to my window as if Kat - Katie - might magically appear if I just looked for her. "If she does come by, I'd rather not be on my phone."

"Sure thing man, I'm calling you in the morning though. Don't fall asleep in there."

I chuckled at that, knowing he was threatening to call for reasons unrelated to me possibly passing out in my car. "I'll text you when I'm home, don't wake me up if I do."

"No promises," he countered, the call ending at that. Leaving me on my own.

Time to lean back again.

Despite his best efforts, Adam had failed to get me back into that club. As badly as I wanted to see Kat, talk to her, tell her what an ass I was – am – and beg for her forgiveness, I couldn't go in there. I couldn't book a room, and I couldn't sit on the floor while she worked either; whether she ignored me or pretended to be pleased, I wouldn't have been able to handle either. And from what Adam told me, she wasn't pretending to be pleased.

But she hadn't said she wouldn't come tonight. It was the smallest sliver of hope, and I was willing to hold onto it until morning if I had to.

If she chose to see me, it would be worth the all-nighter. It would mean that, though she'd never admit it, she wanted to see me even after everything I'd done. After all the trouble, the confusion, the pain I caused; I'd have a chance to apologize.

I chuckled ruefully, realizing I had so much more to apologize for this time. But she's forgiven me once, it wasn't impossible that it would happen again.

Well, I think she forgave me. It was hard to believe that everything we'd done, every experience with her, could have been one-sided. Even though she knew me all along, I could understand not wanting to tell me who she was. I'd been absolutely insufferable towards her when we were younger – she probably thought I'd be disgusted if I knew who she was. I certainly had everyone else convinced that was how I felt ten years ago.

The 'stupid kid' defense wasn't anywhere near adequate.

And I hadn't recognized her at all. Even with all the signs, every little hint, my brain wouldn't make the connection between 'Kat' and 'Katie'. There was no reason for her to tell me, to stick her neck out there, if she thought I would have ridiculed her again.