The Moon, Stars and Chinadolls

Lonely

I used to sit alone in the class

But I only felt lonely when I sat next to you.

I used to eat alone during the lunch

But I felt sick only when I ate with you

I used to stay quiet during a conversation

But I felt speechless only when I talked to you

I used to sleep alone

But I felt depressed and sleepless only when I slept next to you

I used to live alone

But I only felt sad when I lived with you.

Bianca's note:

I used to be the outcast of the class. That one quiet kid, in the corner of the class, who is always alone and no one talks to her. No one knows if she exists or not. Yes, that was me.

I was used to being alone, it never felt strange eating alone in the cafeteria, having no friends over at my house. And when people talked with their friends in the class I never minded sitting quietly.

But then he came, with his charming smile and pretending to be kind. Always following me around, giving me attention, talking with me and doing stuff to get my attention. And I started to like it, it was nice for a while. Before I found out the truth.

It all was just a game to him. He always lied to me, trying to act nice and bad bitching me with his friends behind my back. And then I started to feel it, I felt lonely when I sat next to him, I felt like puking when I ate lunch with him, I was speechless listening to his lies and I felt sleepless when he slept by my side. And now I feel sad, I feel sad for all the time I spent with him. I feel sad for myself.