The Moon, Stars and Chinadolls

The game we play

You are a competitive person,

You like to play games;

And you like to win.

And I,

I loved that.

I loved the way you smiled when you won.

How your eyes lit up,

And how you danced holding those trophies.

I loved watching that.

I loved watching you shine.

So, I lost.

I lost every time.

Even though I was right,

Even though the win was surely mine.

And even though the ground was cold,

I took the fall.

Is that why you left?

Did you think I was no match for you?

Or am I not fun, not thrilling anymore?

Do you think I am a born loser?

But I can't blame you for that.

I was the one who decided to lose,

I was the one who pretended to be weak;

I was the one who chose you over me.

Matteo's note:

She was an athlete and she always took games seriously. She used to participate in any sports events that happened within her reach. But he loved swimming the most. She likes the tingling feeling of water on her skin. She worked out regularly and she took great care of her body.

I met her at the swimming pool. We had a common friend there and he introduced us. She had curved, and when I say curved, I mean the one which looked inhuman, like the models that appear in an ad for sportswear.

That's what I like about her. Not her body but the way she took care of her body, the way she cared for her, the way she loved herself. I work out regularly but she was different from me. I worked out because I was insecure because I thought that I do not look good enough. But she looked confident, she was amazing. She carried her body like it was the most expensive gown in the world.

I thought if I stayed by her side maybe I could also get some of that confidence, maybe I could be like her. So, we dated but for her loving was also a game. She like it when she won against me. When she won the argument, she celebrated like she just won a world cup. But I still like it, I loved the way she shone. And then I started to lose. I lose on purpose because that made her happy.

But I saw it on her face with time winning against me did not make her happy. She looked like it was obvious that she won, she did not celebrate it, she just moved on. And I think that's why she left me. Because I was not fun anymore, just like the game she got over from.