The Moon, Stars and Chinadolls

The witnesses

Do you know,

Stars die too.

Sure,

It takes millions and billions of years.

But eventually, they die too.

And I wonder,

If any star died that night

When you left me.

Henry's note:

We both used to meet after the sunset. He would drive to my home real slow and text me "I'm here." I would sneak out of my bedroom window. He would be always waiting for me in the driver's seat and his face would light up when I sat next to him. He would drive quietly making sure my parents would not wake up. Sometimes he would steal a glance from the rearview mirror, sometimes he would just turn to me to check me out while he drove and sometime he would become shameless and place his hand on my thigh. I loved it.

We used to drive away to some secluded place. Mostly in the dark alleys of the town or in the jungle that's just a few miles away. Those areas were the most dangerous and not many people would go there. But I felt the safest there because he was with me. I felt the same when I felt his breath on my skin when his tongue explored my mouth when our naked bodies would tangle with each other under the open sky or in his car. It was the safest place for me.

We both were scared back then, so scared to hold each other in the daylight, to shout at the top of our lungs that we loved each other. We were just kids, we were scared to hold hands in the school lobby. Scared that someone would see us that people will judge, that people will hate us. So, darkness was our only shelter, it was the only place where no one would see us, where even we could not see ourselves.

But you know what, I was wrong. The stars were always there. They were there and they saw everything. They saw us holding each other, they saw us laughing, they saw our naked bodies tangled up, they saw our passion and they saw our love. They are the witnesses of us.

But they also saw you leaving me behind that night. They saw how coldly you dropped my hand when I begged you to stay. When you said that it was all just a phase, when you said you can't do that anymore, when you said it was just playdates. They saw all that, they heard all that. And I wonder if any of them died because of the pain of seeing us break, because of the pain that you gave.