The Moon, Stars and Chinadolls

Levels

"Love is very much like video games,

That you like to play so much."

My dad said,

When I fell for the very first time at sixteen.

"You play a round,

Try to clear a level

As perfectly as you can.

In the end, you face the boss.

You defeat the boss and

Enter a new level.

Becoming stronger,

With more powers."

He said,

"But the hurdles also worsen,

And the boss gets stronger.

But it still feels nice,

To defeat them

And be with your lover.

So, never stop trying."

But he didn't say

What to do when your lover levels a gun at you?

When your lover levels you with a punch.

He didn't teach me,

What to do when the love of your life

Is the boss that you have to defeat to survive?

Ricco's Note:

It was all good when we started going out. It was good for a while. It was not like there were no problems. But every time we faced a problem; I was reminded of my father's words that he said to me when I was in high school. It was my first girlfriend and he told me that we are bound to face problems in relationships. No relation is perfect. But we have to fight against those problems to become stronger together. To understand each other.

But with her it was different. With her, it was never 'we'. She wanted control of everything. But I still loved her. I liked her taking care of me and being there for me. But I could not understand when her desires became an obsession. She wanted to control me like a puppet, and she would throw tantrums if I could not pick up her call even if it was because of work. She never trusted me even though I told her everything about myself. Even though I was standing naked she thought I was hiding something.

And that made me realize how much you can get hurt if the person you love is the one hurting you. How bad it hurts to let go of the feelings you cherished the most because those feelings are the boss that you have to defeat.