Mr. Clarke - COMPLETE

32

It's super late now so I will only be uploading one chapter today I'm sorry :(
Next chapter will be out tomorrow I swearrrr.
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N I N A

After a week of packing everything up in my house and putting it on the market, my childhood home finally sold to an elderly couple who is raising two of their grandchildren.

During that time, I was able to find an apartment in Manhattan that's within my budget and also walking distance to the campus where my program is being held in. I'm leaving for Manhattan in two days and I know I should feel happy but there's just something I feel is missing.

I can't explain it. I spent the last two weeks focusing on myself and what makes me happy and I've been doing a really good job at that, but now that I'm getting closer to my departure date, I can feel that emptiness deep inside me. Like I'm a puzzle and there's a single piece missing to make me whole.

I know it's not because of my mom. I went to go visit her yesterday and she was too doped up on drugs that she didn't even realize that I was there the entire thirty minutes sitting next to her. I know that empty feeling is because of Vincent. I've never felt like this about any man before. What I had with my ex was different from what I had with Vincent. Jamison was safe for me. He was sweet, loving, caring and I was happy with him; but he never made me feel like my heart was beating out of my chest.

What I had with Vincent was taboo, dark, dirty, and all the more sexy. I felt my entire being smile just being in the same vicinity as him. His touch was like an inferno to my body. Igniting my body into flames that burns every inch of skin it can reach and seeping into my heart wanting to burst for him and him alone.

It was wrong of me to call out my safe word. But everything was happening so fast and it felt like I couldn't breath. He goes from hot to cold so quickly that I get whiplash. He can be so sweet and caring one moment and then crush me mentally the next. That's not something I want to have to deal with for the rest of my life. He said he would change but doesn't everyone say that? How can I be sure that he really will change? How can I be sure that he actually wants to be with me for me and not my body?

I still love him. I will always love him, but I need something more than just an "I'm sorry". I need to see action. Words don't mean a thing unless there's action involved.

I'm laying on the mattress I set up in my now empty living room when there's a knock at the front door.

Grabbing a robe, I quickly put it on over my pajamas before walking up to the door and opening it.

To my surprise, Damien is standing there with a shy smile on his face.

"Hey there, gorgeous." I still blush every time he says that.

"Hey," I smile, moving to the side to give him room to enter. "what are you doing here?"

I close the front door once he's inside and wrap my arms over my chest.

"I came here to talk to you." Damien looks around my now empty house and whistles. "So you're really leaving huh?"

So I'm guessing Vincent told him that I was leaving. Deciding to ignore his question, I ask one of my own.

"Did Vincent send you here to speak with me?"

He shakes his head no and goes to sit on the mattress. "I'm leaving to head back to New York tomorrow so I just wanted to see you before I go."