The secret pact

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Maura's pov

Jane called me, saying that she wanted to talk to me about something. She didn't say what exactly but I think I already knew what it was about. Maybe the moment had finally come – the moment to talk about the secret pact, to discuss our feelings and thoughts; the moment to come clean. We didn't talk that much lately, so I knew it had to be something important and big because Jane was calling me on the phone and nowadays that was a rare event. I was impatient to see her. We would be all alone, finally discussing what happened between us. At least that's what I was hoping for. I couldn't think of anything else she'd like to talk to me about.

After I heard a knock at the door, I quickly let Jane in. I was eager to find out what she had to say. I was very excited and a bit nervous at the same time, but I was trying to hold back my jitters.

"I have to tell you something," Jane said, sitting on the couch. She was really nervous, I could tell, but I didn't know whether that was a good sign or a bad one.

"Okay," I said, sitting next to her, ready to listen to whatever she had to say. I think I knew what she wanted to talk about but I let her be the first to bring that up so I could hear what she had to say about it. I preferred it that way.

"I got accepted in Boston Cambridge University." Jane announced the big news and I was flabbergasted when I heard.

I remembered that she had mentioned she wanted to study there, but she has never said that she would apply. It wasn't the news that I expected to hear at all. I expected that Jane would want to talk about our secret pact and I got very disappointed when I found out that she actually wasn't here for that. I just couldn't let it go. I really needed to talk about the pact, and it was the perfect time since we were all alone. But Jane hadn't mentioned it at all, like it never happened; and there she was, saying some news I had no idea what to think of. I simply didn't know what to make of this news.

"That's... that's great news." I said with fake enthusiasm, desperately trying to cover my disappointment. I was happy for her – really, - I just didn't expect it. It was so out of the blue that I truly didn't know what to say, what to think at all, and most importantly - how to react. I just thought we would be finally talking about the secret pact, but she obviously didn't feel any need to talk about it. Jane had never mentioned she wanted to study in Boston Cambridge University, and I was deeply hurt that she was saying it so late and out of nowhere. I felt like my opinion about it didn't matter to her at all. She made me feel so small; it seemed Jane simply couldn't care less whether I knew about her intentions to apply there or not. Her indifference bothered me very much.

"I didn't even know you have applied," I retorted, trying to cover the fact that I was very, very offended that she hasn'told me she applied at the same college, which was something she should have shared earlier. "But why would you bother telling me..."

I felt really annoyed because she hadn't even told me. We were best friends - she just had to let me know in advance. I was so surprised that Jane kept it a secret from me for so long. Maybe she got a letter the same day I was accepted, but she has never told me that she even applied. And perhaps she kept it a secret from me for so long. But even if she got the acceptance letter later, that didn't justify her behavor and I think she should have told me about it at the very beginning. Or at least make some hint at me. Or just say something. Anything at all. The old Jane would have told me that she has applied at the same college, but the new Jane was so drawn and cold. And so very different. And indifferent, too. In the past – before the stupid pact – we used to share everything with each other, even the smallest things, and every single detail about... well, about everything. The reality was harsh, but it was all true and I had to face it – Jane and I have grown apart and the fact that she hadn't told me such big news was the undeniable proof. And I was kind of irritated by the fact that she didn't tell me earlier. Why would she apply and not tell me - I couldn't think of even one simple reason that she could possible have for not telling me about it straightforwardly. Nothing could justify her actions.