fluoride - a countryhumans smut-shot book

- scotland x ireland

warning, the following one-shot contains...
frottage, duel handjobs, drunk sex, wales torture /j, one of them is fully clothes and one isnt idk if thats a kink or smthn but i think it's hot

requested by @minskitea
thanks for ur request

"ireland, hurry yer flat ass up!"
scotland called to his friend from his living room, tapping his foot on the ground impatiently.
"i'm coming, calm down cunt!"
the irishman yelled down, throwing sweatpants on in replacement of the suit pants he'd worn to the un meeting that day.
this was a tradition for him and scotland, every other un meeting they'd go out drinking, piss off the bar owners, run to ireland's house, and then be woken up by a pissed off wales, who was responsible for paying off property damage.
ireland slid down the stair railings, coming face to face with his best friend.
"you don't want to change into something more comfortable?"
ireland pointedly asked, gesturing towards the button-up and dress pants scotland was wearing from the meeting they'd come from.
"if you want to undress me so badly, you can just ask, ire,"
scotland gave him a toothy grin, wrapping his arm around the shorter man.
"shut up, let's go,"
maybe later, though.

"and so— i, fuckin' hell, i broke his fookin' nose,"
scotland slurred out, cackling in the back of a cab somebody had called for them after they were kicked out of the bar. (note for future reference; not all horses are unicorns and will not be able to fly when jumping off of a pub roof)
ireland giggled drunkenly, playing with the button on scotland's shirt. there were two seats but he was just leaning on him for support, that's normal, right?
it was almost impressive at the capacity ireland could overthink while drunk, but to be fair he was slightly more sober than the scot he was resting his head on the chest of.
"here's your place, boys,"
hurriedly, ireland threw the cab driver what looked to be like a good amount of money and dragged himself and his friend out.
"sleep on the couch, i'm going to upstairs and change,"
ireland turned to move upstairs, only to be stopped by two hands grabbing his waist.
"i'm not tired, though,"
scotland whined, hands sliding down slightly to the irishman's thighs.
ireland tried but couldn't swallow the lump in his throat at his newly found position.
scotland was leaning his head on his shoulder, hands grabbing at his thighs while he pressed his chest into the irishman's back.
"scot, let me go change, i'll be back-"
the scot dragged him closer yet, stubble tickling his neck.
"you're warm,"
he breathed, hands digging slightly into the plump skin.
ireland gasped slightly as the pads of scotland's fingers massaged his inner thighs.
"hm~ i know a way you could make me tired,"
scotland moved his head so that their foreheads were pressed together, noses brushing against one another.
ireland's lips parted and he let out a small whimper as scotland's finger's traced dangerously close to his crotch.
fuck it.
ireland grabbed scotland by the collar and threw their lips together, and they quickly fell into a rhythm.
scotland backed them up into the couch, ending up with ireland straddling him on his lap.
ireland hurried to strip himself of his clothes, leaving himself in only his boxers.
when he looked up, scotland had his trousers unzipped and boxers pulled down to reveal his dick, but he didn't seem to be making an effort to remove any other clothing.
the irishman rejoined him on his lap, and their kisses turned into a lot more tongue and spit than actual lips.
ireland grinded down on scotland's dick and groaned at the friction.
"fuck— take those off ire,"
scotland groaned, pawing uselessly at the fabric.
wanting release quickly, ireland slipped off his boxers and took both scotland and him in his fist.
the stark contrast between scotland's formal attire and his naked body made his head spin, and he leaned his head over on scotland's shoulder.
"you're so fucking slow, let me do it,"
the taller man slapped his hand away and took them both.
ireland's legs shook and he mewled at the sensation of scotland's rough palm on the sensitive head of his cock.
scotland growled deep in his throat, tightening his grip.
"i love your noises, you're so vocal,"
the scottish man placed a kiss on the shorter man's head.
"oh fuck scot, i can't— i'm gona—"
ireland's legs shook and his toes curled as he came, and as scotland sped up his fist to milk out the orgasm, bringing himself to a finish.
they both slumped over on the couch, and scotland cringed at the idea of cleaning the suit at a later date.
whatever, that was a problem for future scotland.

wales sat across from the two men at the kitchen counter.
"do you have anything to say for yourselves?"
ireland flushed, ear tips a deep red color.
"we were drunk, it's not our fault,"
wales sighed tiredly, putting her head in her hands.
"i'm burning the couch."

- - -

hornee
-casse

edit: added art at the top and also fixed some spelling mistakes