Girl's Love | Editing |

Chapter 12

On Sunday, I had finally finished the first volume of Bloom into You. I ended up returning the library copy that afternoon and borrowing more of My Hero Academia. To my surprise, before we went to sleep, Amber asked to discuss the volume with me.

"You sure you want to do this on a school night?" I asked.

Amber shrugged. "We should still have plenty of time to sleep."

I let out a long yawn and laid on my stomach, facing her. "Well... I'll try to stay up, for manga's sake. But I'm dead tired, so I can't promise anything."

Amber chuckled. "No kidding. So... what did you think?"

I smiled. It was nice for Amber to initiate the conversation, and maybe talking would keep me awake.

"I liked it," I said. "I liked how the main character wasn't all blushy and boy-crazy- or I guess girl-crazy. And I liked the message that love isn't always like that- the blushing and the heart racing- and that it takes time."

Amber nodded. "Yeah, I liked that too. I think the main character might be asexual, maybe even aromantic."

I blinked. She did say asexual, as in asexual reproduction? Right?

"Wait what?" I asked.

Amber paused. "Sorry, forgot you were new to the whole LGBT thing. Being asexual just means not finding anyone sexually attractive. Basically, how you feel about women, or how I feel about men. Most still have romantic feelings for others, but a few are also aromantic, meaning they don't see anyone in a romantic way."

My brain was mush from the drowsiness. I didn't get all of it, but I got the gist. Asexuality- no sex, still likes holding hands and stuff. Aromantic- no hand holding. I could see how Yuu could be interpreted as that. And yet...

I rubbed my eyes. "But I think she does have feelings for Touko."

Amber raised her eyebrows. "You think?"

"Yeah. I mean, she couldn't have agreed to date her just out of curiosity, right? You have to be somewhat attracted to the person."

"But Yuu didn't feel anything during their kiss, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. But still... what if she's not asexual, or aromantic? What if she's just suppressing her feelings because she's ashamed that she's falling for a girl?"

I feared getting a look from my sister, so I looked down. "I mean... it seems like her parents and her friends don't really understand that sort of thing. If I was her, I'd pretend my feelings didn't exist."

Amber was silent for a long time. I couldn't bring myself to look at her face. Finally, she said something I'll never forget. "Well... sometimes that's what you have to do, if you're born different."

It felt as if my heart was expanding in my chest, ready to explode. I wanted to ask if she related to the lesbian experience being portrayed, but that reply made it painfully apparent that she did. I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"I should get to bed," I said. "But I have one more question... what did you think of Touko?"

I finally brought myself to look at Amber's face. She wore a pensive expression and spoke after a moment.

"I think she has her reasons for acting the way she does."

I didn't feel like pushing her for more, so I simply said good night. And it was a good thing that I let the conversation end where it did.

Because this week would turn out to be one of the most exhausting of my life.

***

"Can I ask you something?"