Summer Rains

2

2021

"What do you mean a break year?" Dad asked, setting his coffee down. 

"Just a year before I commit to college." 

"But why we had everything-"

"Anthony." Mom warned. Dad closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

"Look I get it, me and your mom do, but it's not too late to start applying. We talked with the counselor and he agrees that you could still apply now. I nodded, but they didn't get it. I wasn't mentally prepared to go to school like that. 

Being in highschool was hard enough let alone having to be alone and do it. "I know you guys want the best for me, and trust me this wasn't my plan." 

Mom nodded, resting a warm hand on my shoulder. "We're here for you Dani, but he would've wanted you to live your life." I nodded. I hated when they spoke for him though. It's why I didn't attend the funeral. I didn't want to hear people spew out stories about him just for the sake of remembrance. He deserved more. So much more. 

"Why don't yo get cleaned up, Jill's coming over for lunch. I nodded, I was shocked at first to see Felix's aunt here. But I realized she and my parents needed to talk and make connections since I didn't open up about anything. If he were here my parents wouldn't be pushing me about his life and the things he had through. 

It felt too personal to share, so I shrugged them off and acted like we didn't share everything together. "Okay." Was all I said as I dragged myself out of the kitchen and down the hall to my room. I used to only take warm showers but after this summer, they triggered stuff in me so now I only took showers burning. It made me feel something. 

After stripping my clothes off me I opened the shower curtain. Rising steam there to greet me. My breath hissed as I stepped under the rain. It stills took me a bit to get used to, but it always comforted me after a second or two. 

Finally, once my body got used to the temperature I sat, bringing my knees up to my chest and resting my chin. My eyes closed and I that's when he appeared. If I blinked for too ling he'd appear. He was always there when I closed his eyes. Always smiling showing those adorable pair of dimples. 

I finally got out of the shower, my skin wrinkled from the steam. Having box braids was a blessing most of the time, up until I had to shower. Needing to dry them fully every time I showered wasn't always the most fun and I was usually more desperate to just go to sleep or do whatever. I used a towel to squeeze out the extra water and dried it. 

Once I was finished I walked towards the living room. I froze when I heard an unfamiliar voice. "I understand but it'd be better under her care." It was a woman voice but I couldn't pin point who it was. 

"She really doesn't need it right now." My mom said, her voice lower than the woman. I walked out greeting them. Jill. On my couch was Jill, I haven't seen her since Felix's birthday. 

"Danielle." Jill stood up, I noted the book in her hands. "It's been so long, you're still so beautiful." I smiled not knowing what to say. She was more of a mother figure than Felix's actually birth mom. 

"Yeah it has." I agreed and tried to hide my surprise as she hugged me. My parents both looked at her. "What are you doing here?" I asked, pulling away. 

"I had something you might want. Felix would have wanted you to have it. He...." Jill stopped herself as her eyes glossed over with tears. She apologized as she recollected herself. 

"It's okay take your time." My mom comforted coming over to Jill and placing her hand on her shoulder. "We understand." Jill nodded sniffling. 

"He was going to give it to you after graduation." My body seemed to give up on me. I sat down on the couch. My mom rushed over to me, hugging me from behind.