Daughter of Elizabeth Olsen

Chapter 18

Alexa's POV

We're in Grandpa Dave's car on our way home and I just feel exhausted. I couldn't sleep again last night, it's not that I wasn't tired I just couldn't shut my brain off. I'm scared to go home, I'm nervous and anxious and I'm so fucking tired.

I'm really conflicted with how it's all going to go today, I'm still so hurt and mad at her but Grandpa said I have to hear her out. I know she'll apologise, repeatedly, but how do I forgive her when she made me feel so unwanted? She promised me she never would. 

I know I also have things I need to apologise for and I owe her an explanation for the past few weeks, but I don't even know where to start. I don't completely know what happened myself.

It's a whole mess.

We pull into the driveway and through the glass pane on the front door I see her shadow move away, she's been waiting for us. "You ready darling?" Grandpa asks as I realise he's already turned the car engine off and opened my door.

I take his outstretched hand and nod slightly. "Get everything out okay, you can call me whenever you need me." Grandpa walks in first and I can't bring myself to look up, my emotions suddenly hitting me.

I lift my head to fight them back, still avoiding her gaze which I feel is fixed on me. "Come here the pair of you." Grandpa says softly, holding his arms out in both of our directions. I cuddle into his left side needing the comfort as he kisses both of our heads.

"I know you're both upset but you need to listen to each other. Elizabeth being a mom isn't easy, I know you know that but your daughter is here and she needs you." He states firmly, but in his usual calm tone.

"Alexa, I know you're hurt but you need to listen to what your mom has to say. You need to respect each other and work through this. Understand?" He directs to us both, I finally take a breath and lift my head to make eye contact with her as we both nod.

She looks so tired, my guess is neither of us have slept well being apart. My head and heart are being pulled in two directions as she tries to work out what I'm thinking. The lump in my throat is very prominent as all I want to do is launch myself into her arms, knowing it's the one place I find true comfort but I can't bring myself to do it.

Grandpa eventually leaves, leaving us stood in a very awkward silence. I don't know what to do or where to go so I just stand still. "Would you like a cup of tea, and then we can go and sit in the living room?" She asks and I can hear the nerves and uncertainty in her voice.

I nod my head as she goes to make us our drinks, I make myself comfy on the couch and stare off into space. The memories of the last time I was in this room play through my mind and I can actually feel my walls building themselves back up.

"Here you go, sweetheart." She hands me a cup of tea and I mumble a quiet 'thanks' in reply. She sits on the opposite couch and it's silent, I hate this. I don't want to do this. I wonder if Grandpa would come back to get me?

Probably not...

"We're going to sit here and go through everything okay, but I want to speak first." She says ending the awkward silence, I swirl the tea around in my cup not wanting to look at her.

"I should never have said those things Alexa, regardless of the fact I didn't mean them, they should never have been said and I don't think there's enough words to truly say how sorry I am." She starts to apologise, I don't say anything, knowing she's not done. "Alexa." I look up and meet her eyes.

"I need you to know I didn't mean it, not a single bit. You are my family. It's me and you and we are a team and everyone else, they are OUR family, yours just as much as they are mine. Your grandpa, your aunts, your bonus aunts and uncles. They're your family. I should never have insinuated that they weren't."