chapter 28: messing things up...again

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Your POV-

It was the first day back from winter break. I sat in the back of my gloomy government class with one airpod in my ear and the other was listening to my teacher explain the significance of the Judicial Branch. I picked at my cuticles and sighed.

My morning was a haze. I saw Red and it was super awkward. I hadn't seen her since before Christmas and had barely talked to her the rest of break. I hoped she wasn't mad at me but I was too scared to know how she truly felt about me. So I stayed quiet on my end. If she wanted to hang out, I would say yes. But if we continued to awkwardly respond to each other's stories or like each other's spams, I would keep doing that too.

I sighed and looked down at my desk. My tired eyes stared at the yellow highlighted lines in my script. The musical was a few weeks away and I was pretty pumped. I just couldn't really express my excitement to anyone because my parents were too busy with the wedding and Red— well I don't think Red would like it if I gushed about my role that was playing opposite of her current mortal enemy. I told Tweek and he totally didn't understand the ecstaticness. I was just excited to prove myself to the town! Whether that's showing new people who I am, showing the people I already know that I'm badass, and making people proud. What can I say, I love attention.

My eyes drifted to the front of the class and I saw Stan balancing erasers on his desk. His notebook wasn't even open and his head was nodding to the music in his headphones.

I didn't talk to Stan during the break either. And totally regretted that as well. Like we had a whole (super romantic) date and I just left him hanging because I'm so commitment phobia'ed. Secretly, I had hoped I wasn't the only girl he was talking to. But after an investigation, turns out I was. Which made me feel even shittier about the whole "Who should Y/n pick? Red vs. Stan'' debate that was constantly playing in my head.

The bell rang and dismissed most to go home and the rest of us to attend an afternoon rehearsal. I sped out of the room to catch up with Clyde as he left the class next door...and to avoid Stan at the same point. We all filed into the auditorium and gabbed with excitement and nerves. It felt so good to be back in my element, maybe this is a good distraction until the wedding.

"Mkay, quiet down everyone," Mr. Mackey called out from downstage center.

The buzzing stopped and focus was all on Mackey.

"I'm sure you all heard about my hospitalization. Turns out I just had an undiagnosed acid reflux problem and I wasn't passing away from a heart attack. Mkay, your kind words of sympathy have definitely made me feel grateful to come back and get this show rolling once more, mkay? Everyone ready?"

The cast and crew cheered and started warming up. I was currently avoiding Stan, who happened to be my love interest in the show, and didn't want to interfere with Clyde and Bebe's recovering relationship shit. So I decided to stretch next to Kenny. God what a horrible idea, poor perv can't keep his hungry eyes off any female for more than five seconds.

Once stretching and vocal warm ups were over, Mackey announced that we would be working on blocking the song "Crazier than You". The song was about how the two main love interests, Wednesday and Lucas, are having doubts about their relationship because one is crazier than the other. But in the end, they decide they are a perfect match. This could definitely be a prophecy, I thought to myself.

I cringed a little on the inside. I've worked so hard on avoiding Stan and now I have to sing all up in his face for the next hour? I took a deep breath and put my game face on. My hands started to slightly shake and I lowkey felt like I was about to fall over and die but I bravely made my way on to the stage. Stan followed quickly behind with a smile on his face of course. Just happy to be there, as always. Jesus.

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