Shadows in a Window // Luke Hemmings

chapter 1 • paralysed

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WARNING: CONTAINS STRONG VIOLENCE, SEXUAL ABUSE, PHYSICAL ABUSE, SELF HARM AND COURSE LANGUAGE.

IF ANY OF THESE THEMES MAY BE A TRIGGER THIS MAY NOT BE FOR YOU.

OTHERWISE ENJOY! <3
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Paralysed.

That's how I felt in that exact moment. Paralysed. Unable to move or breath out of fear or doing something wrong. Maybe it would be easier if I just held my breath. Then I could forget about this nightmare I'm living in and just disappear. Unfortunately it's not that easy.

I lay there as a few tears slip down my cheeks and a shaky sob leaves my lips. I look up into his dark eyes and I feel a hand come down over my mouth. His lips press together as he hushes me and roughly wipes my tears away. I don't think he's doing it because he doesn't like to see he cry. I think he's doing it because it makes what he's doing to me a whole lot easier if I'm emotionless and don't fight back.

That's then my mind flashes back to something happy as I try to block out the now.

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*Christmas morning 1998*

"Mummy! Daddy! Guess what Santa gave me! Guess what Santa gave me!" 3 year old me squeals as my small feet run down the tiled hallway and into my parents bedroom.

"What sweetheart?" My Mum asks with a smile as she sits up in bed and fixes her blonde hair into a pony tale.

"This!" I tell them as I hold out my hand to reveal a silver ring.

"Do you know what kind of ring that is?" My Dad asks as he pulls me into a hug.

I shake my head and look from Mum to him, waiting for an explanation.

"It's a signet ring." My Father explains as I look down at it in awe of how beautiful it shines in the sunlight.

"It even has your name engraved on it." Mum tells me.

"What's engraved?" I asks her.

"Engraved means to cut into the ring and..." She says but I cut her off.

"No! I don't want you to cut it Mummy." I reply pulling my hand away from her grip.

"I'm not going to cut it darling. Just let me show you something." She tells me with an honest smile as I hold my hand out.

She takes the ring off my thumb and points to 5 small letters engraved on the inside of the ring.

"That's my name!" I cheer excited as I look over at my parents who are both smiling down at me.

"That's right." My Mum answers as she hands back the ring.

"Mummy, there's a problem." I nervously speak up.

"What's that?" She asks me.

"It's too big for any of my fingers. It even falls off my thumb sometimes." I tell her with a small frown.

"As you grow into a big girl the ring will fit you better." My Father tells me as I smile down at the silver ring.

"I want to be a big girl now!" I tell them with a grin.

"You have to wait sweetheart." Mum says as she kisses my forehead.

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It's times like these I wish I was still that same little girl on Christmas morning. My future seemed so bright and I had not one worry in the world.

I'm snapped out of my trans by a hard slap to the face, that's when I realise that I've started crying again. I lay there silently staring down at the same signet ring, this time it sits on a silver chain around my neck. Unable to fit around any of my fingers anymore and that's when I finally realise that I've grown up and it's not at all how I pictured it being that Christmas morning.

I pictured laying on a white bed with my Prince Charming, in a beautiful palace as white horses canter around outside my bedroom window but instead I lay in bed, in a dark room paralysed as my so called Prince Charming rapes me.

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//I know this chapter is extremely short and the others will be so much longer I promise. Anyway what are you opinions so far, is it any good 😁❤️//