Shadows in a Window // Luke Hemmings

chapter 27 • haunting

Jessy's POV:

It's been exactly one month. One whole month since Ryan attacked me and it still haunts me. I can't shut my eyes without his face staring back at me, laughing. I've also taken up permanent residents in Luke's bedroom, not being able to fall asleep without being in his arms. It's crazy how bad things can affect you. I can't even count how many times I've been in and out of hospitals and doctors appointments, they've diagnosed me with post traumatic stress and anxiety. I'm taking medication for it but I don't think it's helping.

I'm too broken for anything to try and fix me.

"Jessy." I hear Luke call but I don't turn to face him.

I stare out the window at the sunrise but my mind is else where.

"Jess." He calls again as I hear him place something down on his bedside table.

"You okay?" He questions as he wraps his arms around me and sits down beside me.

I don't reply. There's no point. He knows I'm not ok. Instead I lean into his warm body and let out a sigh.

"I made you breakfast." He speaks softly as he presses a kiss to my forehead.

"I'm not hungry." I answer.

"I know but you have to eat. Even if it's only something small." He tells me.

I know I have to eat. I know. But whenever I do I feel physically sick, I'm also losing weight. I've lost another 5kg, the doctors think I'm turning anorexic, I want to eat, I really do. I want to do lots of things, I want to be happy, I want to get a full nights sleep, I want to live a normal life.

"Jessy?" He asks again as he snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry, what did you say?" I look up at him and ask.

This happens quite a lot, I feel as if I'm in a trance and I don't know if it's because I'm tired or because I can't handle reality anymore. I'm so thankful for Luke though because he doesn't get frustrated by it, but I can tell it's breaking him. I've changed.

"Jess." He speaks as I snap back to reality and apologise once again.

"Do you want some toast?" He asks me as I nod.

He gets up to get the toast as I continue to stare out the window. I completely forget that he's even in the room so when I feel him sit back down next to me I jump in fright.

"Hey it's just me." He calmly speaks.

"Sorry, I forgot you were here." I tell him as I look up at his glassy eyes.

"It's okay." He replies but I can tell by his voice that it's not ok and that he's not either, but he stays strong for me.

"Here's your toast." He adds.

I take it out of his hands and have a bite as I lean back into his body.

"Luke I'm sorry." I speak.

"Why are you sorry?" He asks as he looks down at me.

"I'm sorry I did this to you."

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Luke's POV:

"I'm sorry I did this to you." She tells me as I close my eyes and take in a deep breath.

"Please don't ever be sorry Jessy." I reply as I try my best to stop my voice from shaking.

"But I am. You could've had an amazing life if it wasn't for me..." She starts to speak but I quickly hush her.

"Jessy stop." I practically whisper.

"You guys got offered to go on tour. You were all so happy that you finally got the experience of a life time but you knocked it back Luke. You refused to go...because of me. I didn't just let you down I let your whole band down." She says.

"I love you Jessy and that's why I stayed and the boys understand that. If we're really meant to be some big band then the time will come and when it does we'll be more ready than ever." I tell her as I pull her back into my arms and watch her stare out the window looking lost.

"I'm just so sorry."

The hurt in her voice breaks me as I feel tears run down my cheeks but try to brush them away so she doesn't see me upset because I'm about the only thing on this earth that's keeping her here.

We sit there in silence for a while as I watch Jessy, once again lost in her own thoughts. I try my best to not move, afraid that if I do so I'll scare her. I hear a knock at the door and my Mum call my name. I kiss Jessy on the shoulder, hoping not to startle her but to get her attention.

"I've got to go talk to Mum for a minute. Is that ok?" I ask her as she gives me a nod before fixating her gaze back outside.

I open the door to my Mum who has a serious look on her face.

"We've got to talk." She speaks and I can tell by her voice that something bad has happened.

We walk into the kitchen and she presents me with a letter.

"What's this?" I ask, reading that it's addressed to me.

"It's a letter from Ryan's lawyer." Mum tells me.

"What? I thought he was in jail?" I ask opening the letter and trying to make sense of it.

"He is but according to the courts system he still has a right to defend himself. He's hired a lawyer Luke, one of the best in the state. They're pressing charges against you for allegedly assaulting him." She informs me as my mind jumbles.

"And what about us? If I didn't act first he would've beat this shit out of me not to mention what he did to Jessy." I reply furiously.

"Luke please don't swear." Mum speaks softly.

"This is insane Mum. How can he do this to us, to Jessy." I tell her as I run my hands through my hair.

"I just spoke to a few people and the chances of him winning in court is highly unlikely. You may get charged with attacking him and that will be a hefty fine but that's about it." Mum says as I sigh.

"This is ridiculous Mum. I can't handle much more and Jessy... Just look at her, she's broken. We can't tell her about this." I reply as the stress builds.

"Can't tell me what?" I hear Jessy call softly.

I look behind me to find Jessy standing in the doorway looking over at us with a scared look on her face.

"Come and sit down darl." Mum speaks kindly to her.

Jessy walks across the room and over to where I'm sitting, taking a seat on my lap and grabbing a hold of my hands, placing them in her hands.

"What's going on?" She asks Mum nervously as Mum takes a deep breath before telling her.

"Ryan wants to press charges against Luke."

"Why? What for?" She questions.

"For attacking him." Mum speaks.

"W-what are they going to do? Are they going to lock you up?" She asks in a panic looking at me with tears in her eyes.

"Liz please tell me they won't put him in jail." She pleas to Mum.

"Sweetie they won't put him in jail I can promise you that. He will just have to go to court and he might get a fine. That's all." Mum comforts Jessy with her words.

"Everything will be ok." Mum adds.