BTS J-HOPE Oneshots 《COMPILATION》✓

your witness

"I'm sorry Hoseok, but this is not working. She's wrong, I can't help you move on from her. I'm sorry."

"What do you mean?" I asked, not understanding her behaviour at all.

"Let's break up. I wish I could heal you but I know where I stood, and this is for you. She told me to give it you when I'm ready. I think it's time." My girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend pulls out an envelope and put it on my lap before she continues, "I do love you and I know you're trying to but we both know it's not working. I'm sorry. Let's not meet each other for a while. Take care."

Saying that, she turns her back on me and ran off. I felt bad. She deserves someone better than me, a pathetic loser who can't move on from his ex, even after a year. My gaze fell downwards to the envelope who looks desperate for my attention. I saw a glimpse of familiar handwriting, it's hers.

My girlfriend, who dump me without any proper reasons.

"Let's see what you want to say baby. I'm so curious what you got to say after a year."

Slowly, I took out the letter and my heart thump in a very uncomfortable way. Her handwriting looks odd, like she was shaking when she wrote this.

'Dear Hoseok, my love. I'm not sure when you'll read this letter but I apologize for the poor handwriting, I'm trying my best.' furrowing my eyebrow, I continue to read with bad feeling.

'I have a lot to write but it's hard to do so, I'll try my best. I was cleaning my car out and found the card that you gave me on my 23'rd birthday, covered in coffee stains. Do you remember that day? It was the happiest day of my life. Looking back on the card, I can say I was so lucky to get a chance to call you mine. At the same day, I heard you kissed someone just to get it out of your system. I'm sorry.

I know, after we break up, whenever we're in the same room. You're trying your best to get my attention and trust me you do. You just don't have any idea. You're seven blocks from me, I try to deal with it quietly. I wouldn't do what you're doing to me. I know that you always need to feel seen but I can't give you what you need. I'm sorry.

Sometime I wish I could tell you, go right ahead, kiss my friends. I don't wanna know how you've been but I'll hear it from them, how you go through the motions of moving on often, you want a reaction from me but I won't, no I can't. I'm sorry.

Few months passed and I'm glad you learned how to talk again but I don't wanna listen. You can keep all my friends and I'll keep my distance. I saw it all. You take another shot at me, it's obvious it's all for me but I'm still indifferent, at least that's what you thought and it's okay. Do what you need to get over me but I won't be your witness for so long. I'm sorry.

Lately, I saw you doing much better. Your bright smile slowly came back and I'm glad I got to see it at least, I wish I could share more warm hugs with you but I can't. You're doing well and I hope you're going to do much better soon. At this point, you might have idea about what happened to me right? and why I left you without proper reason. I'm sorry I'm the bad person here but I'm also very grateful for you. For all the memories that you give me, it's the happiest moment of my life. Just know that I'm the happiest when I'm with you. So, thank you baby.

I know I'm not here anymore by the time you read this but I wish you can fulfil my request. Please be happy and move on properly for me, love. I want you to be happy, always. I want to see you enjoying your life, at least for me? Okay, sunshine? I love you, always.

And I wish that I had more to see but I don't.'

How cruel you are? Why are you so bad? Why? Just why? We could've spent a lot of time together in your remaining days instead of you watching me trying to move on by not being myself and hurting you? Why are you so dumb? Why are you so selfish? This is unfair!!

I scream to no one but myself. My mind was crying, screaming so loud as if I'm talking to her but there's no single word coming from my lips. The only thing that people saw was a man was crying his heart out alone on the daylight. I can't talk.

The pain is too much to bear. All left to do is crying, until my body give up.