midnight rain

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Seoul, year 2023. It's April, a delightful spring. It's supposed to be a pleasing and warm season to enjoy, right? It was fine until the midnight come by.

My town was a wasteland. Full of cages, full of fences. Pageant queens and big pretenders but for some, it was paradise. People were lining and being so excited to come here, blinded by all the pretty outboxes only to find the bitter truth and secrets hiding inside.

I think everything is the same, every city, every light, every life. There is a balance for everything.

For me, it came like a postcard. Picture perfect, shiny family, holiday, peppermint candy but for him it's every day. So I peered through a window, a deep portal, time travel. All the love we unravel and the life I gave away, when I chose fame over him.

"I'm going to enlist next week."
"I know."

"And you still didn't want to come and meet me?"
"..."

"Do you even know how much I long to see you?"
"I-didn't have the gut to face you after-"

"After you reject my marriage proposal?" silence. "Your heart wants what it wants, why you keep pushing me away?"

"I told you, I'm not ready. My career-"

"Did I ever forbid you or tell you to stop?" silence. "Neither you ever tell me that you see nothing in future for us."

"Hoseok, I'm sorry- I just really-"

"Come over, this is the last chance for us. If you still love me the way I do, come before the sun rise. I'll be waiting." again, silence.

It was drop dead silence for almost a minute before I hung up. Inhales deeply, I just realize that I've been holding my breath, that too while crying.

My man was a montage, A slow-motion, love potion. I broke his heart because he was nice. He's too good for me.

He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame while he stayed the same. He proposed to me a month ago and all of me changed like midnight rain, I rejected him and broke his heart.

I guess sometimes we all get just what we wanted, and I hope he never thinks of me except when I'm on TV. Some kind of haunted and I never think of him except on midnights like this.

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain.

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