The Holiday (A Tom Hiddleston Fanfic)

Betrayal

For the rest of her holiday, he was as good as his word. Calling and even face timing as often as his busy schedule allowed, but at least every couple of days.
In between, they texted and she sent photos. Lots of photos. Happy smiling photos that would show him how much she loved him and wanted to share all her adventures with him. For his part, he sent photos from home, from set - carefully edited of course and just of silly random things to make her laugh. Jamie was still nursing a vulnerable heart, but the fact Tom seemed to still love her as much as ever, helped reassure and calm her fears.

She came home almost three weeks to the day they had parted. Tom even sent her a huge bouquet of welcome home roses with a note promising to take some days off soon - she could come for a visit. Meet the cast and crew, visit the set. He'd let her know when it was all arranged. She was beside herself with excitement. Visit a real life Marvel set with her real life Asgardian Prince? It was like a dream, almost too good to be true.

It was.

She'd been home a week and strangely Tom had gone very quiet. She'd called late one evening when she was sure he would be home and it went to voicemail. Thinking he was maybe exhausted and sleeping, she sent a quick text apologising and asking him to call her when he was able. She tried not to worry and she resisted becoming 'that' woman who became a pest. He was busy, that was all it was. The little voice in her head murmured 'is he?'.

It was almost 9pm the following day when a text pinged in. For the first time, she almost didn't want to open it. But when she did, she wished she hadn't.

'Sorry I missed your call yesterday. Things got messy my end. We need to talk, can you call me? Doesn't matter how late, just please call. Txx'

She stared at the words, swimming in front of her eyes. We need to talk. Oh God, this couldn't be happening. Her hands shook as she pressed his number to facetime. Like a condemned woman, she waited and prayed.

"Hi" he was sitting in a darkened room, possibly his study going by the shelves of books behind him. He looked drained and thinner than she recalled, he smiled but it didnt reach his eyes, "thanks for phoning, I've missed the sound of your voice" that was something at least. She sat in her kitchen, looking at him but in all honesty seeing very little other than the pain in his face.

She winced inwardly and took a deep breath, "I've missed you too Tom, been busy time eh?" she tried to keep the edge of accusation out her voice, smiling weakly at him. "So, you're calling to say the visit is off, even the great Tom Hiddleston cant get a set visit sanctioned for a civilian eh?" she tried to sound light and cheery, but failed at that too. He didn't smile. God this was awkward. He rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. She could see he was trying to find the words so she jumped in to save him. "we have a problem, don't we? Something we can't fix. It's ok Tom, whatever it is, just say it. What I'm imagining cannot possibly be any worse than the truth. " It was all she could do.

"Oh God Jamie, I am so sorry." he dissolved into tears "I never meant for this to happen, I thought it was all ok. I am so sorry love" he covered his hands with his face, unable to look at her.

"Tom, you have to tell me what's happened. Please, I deserve at least that." she was gentle, despite an inner monologue that was screaming at him. "Please Tom." he dropped his hands and wiped his eyes.

"It would seem I have a Fiance."

She almost vomited there and then. The bile rose in her throat and the blood roared in her ears. What the hell was he saying? How could this be true. She put the phone on the table and walked away, still connected. She leant against the sink, looking back at the phone and his face. A couple of deep breaths to steady herself. He waited for her to speak. When she came back to the table, sitting down with a thump, her voice was dead. "Explain"

Over the next few minutes Tom gently talked her through the whole sordid scenario. It involved a girl he had been dating on and off, not seriously, but for a good while. He had thought before he went away on holiday - significantly without her - he'd made it abundantly clear that they were over. It would appear not. She had called him the minute he'd got back and stupidly, naively, he thought she just wanted closure. They met at his house, the only really private place in London for him these days. She'd taken it as a sign he wanted her back, wanted to take it to the next level now he'd had time to think and miss her. Especially, and this pained him to admit to Jamie in this brash way, when she had seen his open laptop on a page looking at rings.

Jamie couldn't have cared less at that moment if he'd had arranged to have her name tattooed on his forehead. The words felt like sawdust in her mouth. "Go on. What happened."

"She got too excited to listen, upped and left and before she was home, it was on social media we were getting engaged" he looked almost as sick as she felt "Jamie, I can't shame her. I can't go public and say she was wrong. It would be..."

"Ungentlemanly" Jamie finished, the tears now coursing down her face. "No Tom, you can't. You don't have a choice. I'm sure she's very pretty, you could do worse." She looked at him seeing the man she loved disappear, replaced by a soul in torment.

"I'll fix it, somehow. In time, it could fizzle out, I'd take the blame of course, but I have to do this. For the foreseeable future. It was supposed to be our future, but my stupidity has snatched that away. Can you ever forgive me?" he stared into the camera, his face contorted in pain and she felt a surge of pity. But right at that moment, no, she couldn't. All she could say was,

"the fact you wont shame her, you're making sure she's ok" she now sobbed " you're one of a kind Hiddleston. you know that?"

"But I just want you to be ok - I still love.." he started but she held up her hand

"No, please don't say it, please." she put her finger on the screen again "goodbye my darling. be happy" and she hung up. For a moment Jamie looked at her phone, her heart tearing in two. Then slowly and carefully, she put it down. Suddenly she bolted for the bathroom and threw up. Once she felt her stomach settle, she went back into the kitchen. Her phone had 3 missed calls. 2 from Peter and one from a number she didnt recognise. She suddenly didnt want to speak to anyone. Ever again. She picked up the mug of tea sitting by her hand, taking a large gulp, wishing it was something stronger.

As she sat, digesting what had just happened, a surge of emotion overwhelmed her and looking at it to make sure it wasn't her favourite Loki one, some things would never change, she hurled it with all her strength and a tormented scream, at the kitchen wall. It shattered into a thousand pieces. She looked at the dripping brown stain spreading over the cream wall with detached curiosity, as if the result of her outburst was a surprise. She couldn't have cared less. The only thing in the room that was more broken than the mug was her heart.