insomnia | e.jaeger

10 • confrontation

"y/n, do you like eren?"

armin's words repeated themselves in your mind over and over again. it's been hours since he had asked you and hours since he didn't receive an answer. instead, you bid him goodbye and headed to your uber, who was probably annoyed with having to wait for you. because in all honesty, you didn't even know how to answer that.

you've known eren for all of three weeks, was that even long enough to develop any sort of feelings towards him? not to mention the fact that you were still fresh out of break up. and even then, you thought about the question that eren brought up. did you ever truly love kris?

kris was your first and only boyfriend. he asked you out in the middle of your freshman year and when he did so, you were taken aback. sure you knew each other, thanks to your hometown being a place where everyone knew everyone, but it never even crossed your mind that he liked you, let alone enough to ask you to be his girlfriend. emi encouraged you to say yes to him seeing as this was the first time either of you would have a boyfriend. blinded by the excitement, you agreed. and he treated you well for most of the relationship but it wasn't until reflecting on it the last week that you realized it was lacking something. that something being love.

you dedicated four years of your life to a relationship with someone without love. yet, you never left because it was something you had grown comfortable with. you didn't want to break something that you were so familiar with. being with kris and being best friends with emi was something that was always constant in your life.

but did you like eren? sure, he was attractive. highly attractive at that. but even you knew there was more to him than just his good looks. despite the short amount of time you knew him, you knew eren was a very caring guy. especially with his friends. the way he spoke about his friendship with armin and mikasa was something that reminded you of your friendship with emi. you could really tell he cherished each and every one of his friends and that in itself was admirable.

you liked how hardworking he was with his studies, even though he slept through a lot of his classes. you remember the time he told you he stays up studying most nights. one thing that you really liked about eren was the way he just instantly understood you. you knew from the start that eren could read you like an open and for a while, it did kind of annoy you. but then you recalled the time in the diner when you confronted him about it and he said he saw himself within you. so it wasn't that he could read you, it was just that he could understand you.

you spent so much of your life feeling misunderstood and outcasted due to your insomnia. in fact, emi and kris knew nothing about you suffering from insomnia yet all your roommates and eren knew. of course it was because you told them, but what was it about these people that you have known for only a handful of weeks that you so openly told them about it when you couldn't tell the people you have known for years?

you didn't know. you also weren't sure if you truly liked eren or not. but you did know that there was a chance that you could possibly come to like eren. there was something about being in his presence that made you feel safe, secure and another feeling you couldn't quite put your finger on. one thing you did know for sure was that you needed to talk and come clean with your roommates.

after last night's talk with armin and levi, you realized that maybe you may have overreacted to the whole thing. eren and mikasa were in the past. and that was when another realization hit you. you wouldn't have felt guilty about leaving the party with eren, who just so happened to be mikasa's ex, if you didn't harbor any feelings towards him. right?

the sound of the front door of your dorm tore you from your thoughts. seconds later, you hear annie scolding sasha for thrashing the living room to which sasha whines and states that she thought she would've had more time to clean up. you let out a small chuckle before sitting up from your bed. now was a better time than ever to talk to the girls about everything. you let out a deep breath you didn't realize you were holding before twisting the brass knob and stepping out.