insomnia | e.jaeger

15 • my way to you

you scrubbed harshly at your skin, washing away any trace of kevin's touch that lingered. the water was scolding hot, something you were not used to but had high hopes it would help.

after asking eren to kiss you, his doorbell rang, knocking you back into your senses. you had snatched the clothing from his hands and sprinted towards the bathroom. you lightly slammed ur head against the tiled walls, sighing as you didn't know how to face him once you were done in the shower.

eren looked at zeke who had made himself at home on his couch. the blonde man had turned on the tv, searching for something to watch. eren moved to lean against the island in his kitchen as he placed a doordash order for some takeout.

"i'm assuming you have someone over who is not me since your shower is running." zeke spoke.

"obviously. what are you doing here?"

"did you forget father's birthday is tomorrow? he is expecting your attendance for dinner at home." zeke finally turned to look at his younger brother who was still scrolling on his phone looking for what to order. he decided on some pho and began adding items to his cart.

"yeah, i'll be there. your mom going?"

"yes, your step-mother will be in attendance. did you expect his wife to not be there?"

eren rolled his eyes as he finished placing the order and locked his phone, setting the device down on the countertop. "why must you talk to me like im stupid? i need to talk to her."

"you? talk to my mother? about what?"

"seeing as she is the dean of my university, i need to speak with her about expelling a student who has sexually harassed a number of girls on campus."

zeke raised a brow. "oh?"

"don't worry. i know girls who are willing to share their experience. no one wants to see their abuser on a daily basis."

"and there's also the chance that he will continue to do it." zeke murmured in agreement. he stood from the couch, clapping his hand around his brothers shoulder. "she'll hear you out. just make sure to be there by 6. armin and mikasa are more than welcome to come."

"i'll let them know."

the two walked towards the door. before zeke left, he turned to eren just as he heard the shower stop running. "oh and father would love to meet y/n."

he gave his brother a cheeky grin as he saw eren's cheeks glow red before scurrying out before he got a scolding from his younger brother. eren just shut the door, locking it before plopping himself on the couch and watching whatever zeke had left on.

you had just finished changing into the clothes eren lent you. the hoodie was a bit baggy, making you think maybe he had given one of his instead. you stared at yourself in the mirror, still feeling disgusted as you saw some red and purple marks that littered your neck and chest. your hands grazed them, feeling the slight pressure as if it was bruised giving you confirmation that they were in fact real.

you sighed, feeling more tears pool in your eyes. why did you let this happen? you should've known. you really only had yourself to blame. you jumped out of your thoughts as the doorbell rang again. you heard the rustling of some plastic bags and eren thanking someone. a few seconds later, you heard a light tap on the bathroom door.

"y/n? are you done? i ordered food if you want to eat." eren called from the other side. you pulled the door open, facing him. 

"i just need to dry my hair." you said, sniffling.

eren said nothing as he reached for the towel and began to dry your hair for you. you didn't protest, just let him do his thing. he reached for his hairbrush and a hair tie, slowing combing the brush through your hair. once all the tangles were gone, he then switched to braiding it all for you.

"thank you." you said as your reflections in the mirror made eye contact. he gave you a small smile, making your heart skip a beat.

"let's eat."

after eating the pho that eren ordered, you guys were now on the couch, trying to find something to watch. after twenty minutes of arguing back and forth on what to watch, you settled on spider-man.

"he said he wanted to show me something." you spoke aloud once the lights were out and the movie began. you were huddled up on one corner of the couch while eren was on the other.

he wanted to keep his distance knowing that maybe being near any male might make you uncomfortable. he didn't say anything, knowing you would continue and this was your way of talking about it.

"he took me to his room and i sat on the edge of his. maybe that was like an invitation to him since he sat down beside. i asked him what he wanted to show me and he just said he wanted to be alone with me. before i knew it, he kissed me. i don't know why but i kissed him back. i wasn't expecting him to do anything further. i told him 'no' and to 'stop' and he didn't." by now, you were crying again. "it's my fault. i wasn't strong enough to push him away. i kissed him back. i gave him the idea that i wanted that. i was just about to stop fighting it when you came and pushed him off me."

"y/n, it's not your fault. no means no and if kevin doesn't understand that, he's an idiot." eren finally spoke.

"how'd you even find me?"

"i was high and looking for a place to crash when i heard you fighting him off. i somehow always find my way to you."

"i'm just so disgusted with myself. i can still feel his touch and his lips on mine. it makes me want to hurl."

"ah, so that's why you asked me to kiss you." eren said, almost bitterly.

was that really the reason why? or was it because you genuinely wanted to kiss eren? so much has happened within the last few weeks of your life. your breakup, your roommates, your insomnia, eren, kevin. you couldn't keep up.

you were just so tired.

so you got up, sat next to eren and leaned in.
"i told you to kiss me because i want you to kiss me."

and without a second thought, you had your lips pressed to his.

_________

double update bc ive been MIA for a while.

is this story moving too fast? too slow?

idk but we making progress FINALLY

i also published a new story but im slow updating that as well. school is almost over so i will be able to update more once it is!

enjoy !

P.S TYSM FOR 10k READS!! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS TO ACTUALLY GAIN ATTENTION SO IM GRATEFUL FOR YALL.