Where You Belong

48

It was dark when Meredith made her way in the front door of her house. She could hear the television on in the living room, but she wasn't in the mood to talk to her roommates. All she wanted was to fall into bed with Derek and pretend the day – week, really – hadn't happened.

She had spent over an hour sitting outside the hospital with her best friend, trying to offer some comfort for the situation Cristina had gotten herself into. Burke had a tremor. He had had this tremor for some time. Cristina knew the whole time. Cristina had covered for him. Cristina had reached the end of her rope, and had gone to the Chief.

The happenings of the past few weeks fell into place, each piece fitting together show the whole puzzle. It made sense now, why Cristina had been distant. Why she had scrubbed in on every one of Burke's surgeries, why she had controlled his board. Why Burke had closed his surgeries off to all other residents, including Bailey. Why Cristina and George had been fighting. Why George had requested a consult from Erica Hahn.

And today, Cristina had finally reached her breaking point. Her conversation with the Chief could very well have cost her the career she had been working towards her whole life, the career that had meant everything to her. And it could have cost her the relationship she had been building with Burke. But it was the right thing to do, so she had done it. And yet, even though it was the right thing to do, she had only gotten as far as the bench in front of the hospital doors when she had realized she had nowhere to go. She lived with Burke at his apartment, and although it may be home, it was still his.

Meredith had offered Cristina her choice of couch in her living room, but her best friend had eventually decided to try. She would go home and try and talk to Burke. She was determined not to walk away this time.

And she would show up on Meredith's doorstep should she not be welcome at home.

With the accident at the fish wharf that morning, her shift had run long. And sitting outside with Cristina had only served to delay her going home even more. It was late now, as Meredith trudged up the stairs. And she was cold, as the Seattle evening was a rainy one and she had gotten wet sitting for so long with her best friend.

All she wanted to do now was crawl into bed with Derek, take advantage of his constant warmth, and sleep.

He was already in bed when she pushed open the door to their room, turned on his side, facing away from her. Meredith forewent turning on the light and tiptoed into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She then padded quietly across the floor to her dresser, where she quickly stripped down to her underwear and pulled on an old tee shirt to sleep in.

Derek didn't move the entire time it took her to get ready for bed, so Meredith slipped into bed behind him and snuggled close, reaching her arm around his waist to spoon him.

It was then that she realized he was awake.

His body was tense and his breathing was far too shallow for him to be sleeping. And he didn't give in to her presence. Usually when he was asleep and she joined him in bed he at least reacted to her; reaching unconsciously for her hand, shifting closer or sighing. He was never so tense to her touch, no matter how deep in sleep he was.

And yet, this time there was nothing. No acknowledgement. Nothing.

"Derek?" She whispered into the dark. He had left the hospital before her, so other than assisting him in surgery, she hadn't seen him since early that afternoon.

He sighed, but said nothing.

She rolled away from him, onto her back, expecting him to follow suit so they could talk.

He didn't move, save for reaching his hand upwards to run through his hair, a sure sign that he was stressed.

"Derek?" She said again, this time more forceful.