Where You Belong

69

Heavy footsteps echoed towards her down the basement hallway, and Meredith didn't have to look up to know who they belonged to. With a small inward sigh she blinked hard and tried to focus on the chart in her lap, delaying the point where she had to acknowledge her boyfriend's presence for as long as possible.

They were in a committed relationship; she knew that. He loved her; she knew that too. He had wanted to marry her as short a time as two weeks ago. But as much as she wanted to believe he still wanted her as much now as he had such a short time ago, she just wasn't sure. Maybe that had been her only chance at a future with the man she loved, and she had blown it by over thinking.

It was funny how things happened. In trying to swear off men she had met Derek. In trying to be independent she had found herself a family. In trying to make her mother proud she had found her calling. But now, in trying to stumble towards the future the 'right' way, she may have lost everything that mattered.

She had been stupid and careless. The patient had been close to the edge of the pier, and yet she hadn't slowed down enough to see how much danger she was putting herself in; hadn't stopped to realize that her actions no longer affected her life only. And while she fought successfully back to the land of the living, she hadn't done anything noteworthy in the past three weeks; other than turn down the love of her life, of course. As bad an idea as she knew having gotten married on a whim only a week after her accident would have been, Meredith couldn't help but wonder what it would be like now, to have been married for almost two weeks to the love of her life.

Maybe they would be happy. Maybe it would have stopped her from messing with his life.

He needed someone who could be there for him as much as he was there for her. He needed someone who didn't have long lost abandoning parents who showed up now and then and demanded awkward dinners. He deserved someone who wasn't prone to potentially life ending events. He deserved someone who knew how to swim, and how to say yes.

She had wanted so badly to say yes.

She still did.

Only now, she wondered if she would get the chance.

No one was perfect, she knew, but she was so far from it that people changed their minds about her. And if her parents, the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally for her whole life had known when she was just five years old that she wasn't worth their time, then how was she supposed to expect a man to love her forever?

The footsteps slowed as Derek crossed in front of her. There was a pause before the thin mattress of the gurney she was sitting on dipped beside her.

With a sigh, Meredith pasted a smile on her face and turned towards him. "Hey-" The look on his face cut her off before she could say any more.

Derek's eyes were deeper than she could remember seeing, his beautiful irises filled with concern and...love. Deep lines were etched along his forehead, adding to his look of concern. And the way his head cocked ever so slightly to the side made her heart clench. "Hey," he practically breathed in response, gently prying her chart from her fingers before turning his upper body towards her and wrapping her in his arms.

Meredith felt a breath of relief leave her lips as Derek's chin landed on her shoulder and his lips and nose pressed up against the side of her head. He wasn't going to make her talk yet. Leaning into his chest, she clutched at his strong arms and took all the comfort she could get from him.

After a long moment, he made a humming sound and kissed her behind her ear. "I love you," he then whispered. "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Surprised at his words, Meredith turned in his embrace, her eyes searching out his. He had an uncanny ability to read her mind, but even he wasn't this good. And the only person she had voiced her thoughts to was- "I'm going to kill Cristina."