⚠️Trigger Warning ⚠️ There will be talks of suicide, suicidal tendencies, gore, blood, and death.
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Everything is dark around me. I frantically feel around until my hand grabs something cold. My heart races in my chest and fear courses through my veins. I shuffle around trying to find something to turn on a light or something. That's when I see a twinkle of faint light to my left. I scramble up and start running to it but trip over something large, hitting my mouth harshly on the floor. I pick myself up while wiping at my bloody lip, when suddenly the lights turn on. I squint my eyes for a second before looking around a familiar basement but I can't remember from where. I look down to my bloody hands and notice I'm still slightly laying on whatever I tripped on. It only takes me a few seconds to recognize what, or more correctly who, I tripped over. "Oh gods! Sammy! Sammy no! Not again!" I scream.
⚠️ Trigger Warning ⚠️
My best friend is sprawled out on his back, white as a sheet. His eyes are devoid of life and there's dark red blood pooling around him. My breath catches in my throat and I scramble away from his form, holding a bloody hand to my mouth to cover my cries. I know what's coming. Who is coming. The door bursts open and my head snaps to the large man before I let out a shrill scream. He runs towards me and grabs my arms tightly but this time he just starts shaking me. "Lillith! Wake up! Lillith!"
⚠️ Trigger Warning Over ⚠️
The man and Sammy slowly dissolve before my eyes until my bedroom slowly comes into view. My mind finally registers that dad is holding me and I'm safely in my bedroom. "Oh gods! Daddy I'm s-sorry I-I couldn't s-save him. I-I am s-so s-" I struggle out. "Lillith stop. Honey it's okay. None of that was your fault okay? I thought you said these nightmares were going away?" My dad asks gently. "I'm not having nightmares dad. I'm reliving memories." His face drops and I see the pity in his eyes. Dad hugs me as I bury my head and sob into his shoulder. The cries eventually turn into just sniffles and he leaves to go back to bed, putting a light kiss on my forehead.
Not being able to sleep, I stare at my ceiling just waiting for my alarm to go off. You are worthless. If you would have just stayed home or fought harder, he would still be here. Why didn't you die instead of him? You should just end it, all this suffering wasted on you. You're not helping anyone by being here anyways. I grimace at my thoughts and then jump as my alarm blares. Gods. I really need to sleep. I trudge to my closet to grab some clothes. I pick a random sweatshirt, some jeans, my undergarments, and my favorite belt. Then grab my high top Chucks and lace them up. I wash my face and brush my teeth, not even bothering with makeup. I spray some water in my hair and then some curl crème. After putting on deodorant and perfume, I'm ready to leave.
