The Babysitter

~23. You are my everything.~

A/n: honestly, I had planned 28 chapters in total, but there might be two more, since it's gonna be a bit crazy and what if the past isn't done with Veronica... 👀

Enjoy reading:]

Stay healthy and kind💗🌷🧚🏻‍♀️

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The landscape flew by, just like time did. Brown and empty looking trees flashed by. It looked dull and cold outside. Surely it was winter, yet it seemed so lifeless. The nature appeared almost colorless, if not dead. The short grass was brown in most places. The meadow muddy, due to the rainfall.

My head remained in the same position. Eyes staring outside the window, not taking a single glimpse at the woman driving.

It was difficult for me to leave Berlin just like that. Of course I would do anything for my kids, so they don't have to worry, especially not about me. There was no need for them to be concerned at all. When they are so young, their only worry should be to finish their homework on time and to meet up with their friends within one day.

However, I couldn't see Celia. There was my chance of meeting her again, talking to her and seeing her. Now it's gone. Like ashes that are blown away by the wind. Gone.

We left in a haze and the only time I managed to reach out to my old friend, was when I sat in my seat on the plane. Even there I couldn't explain to Celia everything I wanted to. I could only sent a short text, to let her know we had to cancel our plans.

Cate didn't seem too bothered by this. No wonder. She was everything but fond of the idea anyway. She had to be glad. On our flight the blonde tried to pull me into a conversation with her, but I clearly wasn't in the mood, same as now.

We've been heading home from the airport and I hadn't said a word, since we got in the car. Although my silence was a clear indicator, my fiancé didn't want to give up.

Her thumb caressed my thigh, as she spoke again. "Angel, you can't keep quiet forever. Eventually, you have to talk to me or anyone in general."

"Watch me." I mumbled against the arm I let my head rest on.

"There you go. Now that you broke your silence, why don't you try to express what you're feeling?" One could hear the smirk she had on her face screaming, right now. God and it made me furious.

Out of frustration, I bit down on my tongue, only letting go of the muscle between my teeth, as I tasted something metallic.

"You ain't my therapist, are you?" Upset, I bit back.

"Vee, it's okay to be frustrated. I'd be too, if I were you." My head twitched aside and for the first time in hours, I searched for her eyes.

For a brief second she met my gaze, before she focused it back on the street. "But you aren't me."

"Honey, I was just trying to tell you, that I understand what you're going through—" I cut in on her soft words.

"Don't, Cate. You do not know, what it's like to live with the guilt of hurting the ones closest to you, before leaving them abruptly. Because that's what I did. I told both, Celia and my best friend, things to hurt them on purpose, so they would let me go and guess what, it worked." I swallowed the lump in my throat and hold back my emotions. Tears threatened to drop down my face and with quite a bit of effort, I oppressed them.

The second I closed my eyes, I stood back in my old high school. The purple dress hanging down on my body, my boobs almost jumping out of the fabric. My gaze wandered around the room I was in. It was too familiar. Everything about this was too familiar. Yet, it was quiet. That wasn't right.