It's not me, It's you!

Party 3 - Concessions

POV: Gustie

"You look beautiful today" Aiden said,

I looked at him, though his mouth said those words his, face was totally showing opposite to what he said,I wanted to laugh at his expression, he looked so uncomfortable, we never talk cheesy things like this Ever!!!

Aiden is a master in telling lame jokes and making us laugh. But he is not used to these kind of things, and he's doing this for me and the boy sitting beside us.

Philip Abraham!

My first and probably my last love too and not to mention, my best friend!

I was in love with him from my child hood. It started when I was fifteen years old, before then we were closest friends, we'd done many things together like stealing money for sancks (From his parents) pranking the teachers and even our own friends.

I don't know exactly when it began to change. I started seeing him differently, in a very good ways.

Somehow, his eyes started sparkling, his hair and his lips seemed more appealing than before, I started noticing his every features.

For Example, a simple furrow between his eyebrows whenever he is angry or his lips between his teeth whenever he's thinking deeply, or the way his hair looked just after sleep.

Oh god, trust me it's a torture, a pleasure torture!

As I couldn't control my thoughts, I distanced myself from him.

At first he asked me whether I'm ignoring him or whether he'd done something wrong.
He even apologized for the mistakes he hadn't done!

Oh boy, him being his own self, doesn't helped the situation.

So, I reluctantly distanced myself.
Because, I was scared.

Shit, I'm still scared of loosing what I already have.
Though  I distanced myself from him, I couldn't find myself to move on.

Fuck, How could I move on when my whole world is Philip Abraham?
There's one way to move on though, and that is my grave!

When I'm 17 years old, that is the current year, his effect on me had only improved, a way too much!
So, I thought, I could at least be friend with him, so that I could always see his face.

But now, matters gotten worse. I'm worried! Can't he even get a hint of what I am going through?

And the fact he is/was not dating anyone, doesn't help either.
Yeah! If he had dated someone for all these years, I would've moved on, thinking he's just a jerk, that I deserved more. But no, he have to stay single all these years and make my life even more a hell.

For all these fact, I'm angry!,
I'm angry at myself,
I'm angry because, I haven't told him how I feel about him, like a coward I am!
I'm angry at myself because, for all these years, I've thought he would understand my feelings and respond to it, like a stupid I am!

But seriously, All of my friends know that I'm in love with my best friend! Even Aiden can tell it.

Actually, Aiden had asked me whether I love Philip on the first day itself, but give it to my dumbest yet handsome hunk Mr. Philip Abraham to ruin it!

So, after these long wait, after so many years of believing that Philip would at least get a tiny hint of what is going on around him, I'm done waiting. And I'm done getting angry at my self. So, I decided to give it a shot.

After all, I really want him. Being best friend with him is not enough for me. Not that he is a bad friend.
Hell, he is the perfect best friend that anyone could want, But the point is, I don't want him just as my best friend. I want him to be my everything. I want him to be my world, which already he is!