Noir Spots

Orange Is Not The New Black

guys I struggled so much with this chapter and there isn't even a reason why

---

Alya Césaire knew two things for certain.

One, Ladybug made a mistake taking away her Miraculous and giving it to someone else. And two, the new Cat hero just wasn't cutting it.

Alya scowled up at the black and white figures dancing around the Akuma. She could hear the one in white swearing viciously as she dodged the wave of blood that came crashing out of nowhere.

"Look at this, Ladybloggers! Noir can barely stay alive and we expect her to save us from Hawkmoth?" Alya announced smugly to her fans as she filmed the fight. "And this new hero? What a joke! They don't even have a name, and they're barely fighting back! Where the hell is Ladybug? Doesn't she care about us anymore?"

Alya ran after the Akuma, who was once her ridiculously dramatic teacher Madam Camille. Alya couldn't believe her teacher turned into an Akuma just because she told her no one gave a shit about her stupid lesson on Jack the Ripper.

"I can't believe Ladybug is so incompetant that she left us with these idiots! Where the hell is she?"

After stopping in an alley to continue her rant, Alya paced back and forth, stopping to kick a pop can into a nearby dumpster.

"It's so awful that Ladybug abandoned us like--"

A shadow fell across the alley, making Alya freeze in her place.

"Alya Césaire! Still feel that Jack the Ripper is boring?"

---

Orange was not the new black.

That had always been something Chloé firmly believed since she was able to string thoughts together. It was too sharp of a color and yet so, so dull. Everything about it was awful--Chloé never understood why the fake reporter had been so obsessed with it.

It was why she had been so relieved to find her suit didn't have a speck of orange.

Her suit--or the one she made for Noir being Chloé being a fox--was still black, but white gloves with black tips covered her hands. Instead of cat ears, her head was covered with an black hood with new fox-like ears situated on top. Instead of a mask to cover her eyes, Noir now had a white bandana face covering. Falling elegantly from her shoulders was a black cloak with white on the inside.

She looked fantastic, and the murmurs of agreement from inside her head why did she feel like she was going to throw up?

Because you finally gained Ladybug's trust only to stomp all over it. Plagg pointed out.

This isn't technically disobeying her though, since Chloé does have the Miraculous. Trixx reasoned.

It was like having an angel and a devil sitting on her shoulder--but since when was Plagg considered an angel?

Swearing loudly, Noir smacked another splatter of blood away from her new suit.

She was wearing white for Kwami's sake, and it didn't matter if the suit was magic, she knew that the stain would never come out.

Noir scowled and threw herself backwards to hide behind a chimney.

This was the dumbest idea ever. Noir thought to herself. Fucking idiot, why did you think you could pull off being a fox on top of being a cat?

Because you're an idiot. Plagg said.

Because foxes are awesome! Trixx shot back.

Noir ducked away from the now collapsing chimmney and pulled out her new weapon, a pure white flute as long as a staff. She leaped out of the way and played it harshly.

If I'm going to keep this whole 'Fox' thing up I need to learn how to play the flute. It looked so easy when Rena Rouge did it, a shame she was such an awful hero--no offense, Trixx.

Eh, she was pretty horrible. Trixx said, but at least she could play the flute.

Plagg cackled inside her head, you sound like a constipated horse.

No, no, no! She sounds like a screaming goose!

You guys are dicks. Noir grumbled, rolling to the side to avoid more blood aimed at her face.

What a fun superpower. Squeezing people like they're apples and drowning people in the apple juice.

That's a horrible metaphor. Trixx scoffed.

Yeah! Plagg giggled. Apple juice looks like pee!

You two have the maturity of second graders.

Yeah and you're so mature, I've seen the hoard of stuffed animals you keep in the closet.

Those were private, Plagg! Why were you in my closet?

I was looking for cheese and your closet had yellow stuff in it.

Plagg you--

"Look out!" The voice was frantic, and Noir turned around to see who it was.

Only to have a wave of blood crash into her.

So much for dry clean only white super suits.

Noir choked, trying so hard to keep her mouth closed. She could feel her body going weightless--and she forced her eyes open.

It was that night with Chat Noir all over again.

Suddenly she was falling and crashing and dying all over again.

And then she was screaming, her mouth was filling with the coppery taste of blood. She was gagging and gasping, everything was too hit--why was the blood still warm?--and burning and she was drowning in blood.

It was just like the other night, her heart was beating too fast and then not at all.

She was dying all over again.

Kid, kid you need to calm down! Plagg was yelling frantically, but the sound of blood rushing to fill her nose and mouth and ears and everything was drowning everything out.

The waterfall of blood ended when she was on the ground in a pool of blood that wasn't her own.

And for the second time that day, she was coated in the smell of old pennies and horrible, sticky, blood.

---

yes, yes I know that Jack the Ripper is british and didn't squeeze the blood out of people but instead he just drained people of blood but I have a bit of an obsession with him so I did that