Catch the Trust [Completed]

Being Alone

6 

Emmy

The past few days without Hailey or Mateo were a bit overwhelming. I couldn't do too much on my own. I felt stuck in my little apartment. Myra came over to have dinner one night and we watched a few movies together during a rainy day. My body still is bruised all to hell.

Sitting on the edge of my bed I looked at myself in the mirror. I used to be a strong individual. A bitch of a woman in the ring. The titles I held are still dangling from my wall, the records I made are still intact and yet the boxing world is still progressing and moving along. I've missed things. New moves. New opponents. New challenges.

I balled my fists and stared in the mirror at myself. I was scared tonight thinking of everything Gino told me. The noises and street chatter had my anxiety go up so high I had to take medication for it. I haven't had to take it since my third night home.

Those boys took more from me than they'll ever realize and that irritates the heck out of me. I just want to punch something. I told myself I couldn't go into a gym again. Not after my dad died. I can't fight without him by my side. Without him coaching me.

Staring into my blue eyes I saw an afraid and scared version of myself looking back at me. I'm beaten down, my ego bruised, my fight deflated and mentally incapable of walking into a gym surrounded by men. I punched my bed again and again in agony. I laid in my bed, my body throbbing from the pain the tears are bringing on. Seven men attacked me. I was attacked. I didn't fight back. I just... I just let it happen. I don't recognize myself anymore. Who I was back in college ... I was a warrior. I was strong and independent. I knew how to hold my ground. Now I'm crying on my bed staring back at my bruised body.

Gino's right.

I need to get out of here. My dad's gym is in San Francisco. I've been paying the rent. I don't have to box, but I can go and see the condition of the gym once I am able to walk longer than from my bed to the kitchen.

My dad was a fighter. Never backed down from anything. Always took on new challenges and encouraged me to power through even through the hurt. I miss him.

But I know laying here is not making him proud of me. I need to get back to the gym.

A knock on the door brought a skip to my slow walk. When I opened it Mateo looked tired. He left at seven this morning and now it's ten at night. I know he wanted to power through on driving but he looks rugged. His hair is growing out on the sides and lost some of the curl from the past few days. His brown eyes looked me over and I could tell he is ready to fall asleep.

I stepped aside and let him in. I made sure the door was locked, twice, before meeting him in the living room. "Thanks for coming here, Mateo."

"You need me, I'm here." My heart fluttered at that.

"I.. yeah. I just. I'm going to tell your dad tomorrow but I wanted to make sure it's what you wanted." His thick eyebrows bunched and I could tell he was wondering where this is going. "I need to get out of Seattle. I... I wasn't a fan of being home alone. There's just too much... um..."

"Too much going on in your head?" He took a step and invaded my space a bit. Mateo and I are about the same height. Something many of his college teammates used to berate him for. I pressed my lips together and nodded. "So let me guess. You think my dad's idea of you going to San Francisco was his and I wasn't in the same boat?" I shrugged softly.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to take care of me. I'm dead weight right now and won't be fine for another month at that. Plus, driving is really uncomfortable still. You do the whole drive in one day."

"Then we'll stop. There's this nice motel we can stop at once we get into California." I looked into his brown eyes and felt the small smile play on my lips.

"Wait so... if I say I want to agree with Gino and head to San Francisco--"

"You're staying with me. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Okay... okay. So I'll call Gino in the morning then."

"Is that all you wanted from me? Because if I'm being honest, I'd love to crash on your couch. I'm beat."

"Actually..." I took a step toward my bedroom and bit my lip. "I can't sleep very well alone. I had to take anxiety meds last night and it took me a while to fall asleep. I don't know if I want to take them again so..." Mateo smirked and made his way to my room. I pressed my lips together again and followed him in.

He was staring at the medals I took off my wall and placed on my bed. "I had a moment earlier." He peeked over at me and smiled.

"It's okay. I remember these medals. The newspaper articles... your dad had them taped in the gym." I looked away from my bed and to the necklace on the bureau. I walked over to it and trailed my fingers over the clasp.

Mateo moved the medals and newspaper clippings to another chair in my room. He then made his way over to me. His fingers took the chain and unclasped it. He moved the hair from my neck and placed the chain there.

After he clasped it I stared at us through the mirror. He closed the bedroom door and walked over to the bed and pulled back the covers. I was already in my pajamas. An oversized Ohio State Football shirt and a pair of underwear.

I turned around and watched as he took off his shirt, his muscles prominent compared to college. "Do you still like the right side of the bed?" I let out a small laugh and made my way over.

"Yes I do." We both got in and I tried to ignore all the thoughts of how Mateo is so easily helping me through this. How he wordlessly put the chain around my neck. The weight of it felt heavy at first, but now it is becoming comforting. Being able to reach up and touch it. Mateo shuffled and I turned onto my left side to face him. "Thanks for being here Mateo.. I --"

"I got you. No need to thank me. How do you get comfortable on your ribs?" His words caught me by surprise. He's so easily and readily willing to help me.

"My left side is more comfortable. I can sleep on my back too, but my right side hurts the most."

He hummed before wrapping his arms around my body and pulling me into him. I felt the relief and safety as his arms wrapped themselves around my lower waist and one free hand brushed my hair back. He kissed my forehead and closed his eyes on the pillow. I smiled at him and kissed his inner forearm that is exposed by my head. "Sleep well, Emmy."

In the morning, Mateo headed for a shower and I called Gino. "Emmy! Good morning."

"Hi Gino. I just wanted to call and tell you I'd like to go to San Francisco with Mateo." He was quiet for a few seconds before he replied.

"Oh Emmy! Really? That is good news. Good news."

"Yeah I thought about it while everyone was away... I'm not committing to anything fully, but I'll head down to San Francisco."

"That's one step. We only need to take one step at a time."