must have been a deadly kiss, only love can hurt like this // hyunlix

2020 pt4

"Jin" Felix whispered in a seductive way.

Oh, fuck.

"Hmm?" I murmured.

Felix slowly came close to my ear, standing on tiptoe, and whispered:

"Why don't you kiss me?"

Maybe it was the drink, maybe it was the euphoria of the moment or even the adrenaline rush of being so close to Felix, but I'm not nervous about that question.

It is obvious that a part of me knows that if I was sober, I would be fracking out right now, and it's not that I'm not, but it's as if I'm waiting for years to hear these words come out of Felix's mouth.

I've always dreamed of Felix asking me to kiss him, it's always been something I wanted and wished.

But being here now, with him practically asking me to kiss him, it seems unreal.

It seems easy. As if I was forgetting something.

I always thought I would be paralyzed if something like this happened, as I saw in the movies, people didn't know what to say or how to act.

But surprisingly, I know exactly what to do.

I'm nervous, of course. Not with the question itself, or even about the fact that feels like ages since I last kiss someone, I'm more nervous about whether this is the drunk part of Felix talking or not.

Because I'm drunk myself. If I'm not mistaken, I drank maybe even more than Felix.

I'm drunk, I know that, but no matter how drunk I am, I need to know if Felix really wants it. It may have been another one of his jokes, it may have been another flirtation, it may have been the drink.

Fuck, it could have been the drink.

Of course it was the drink. Felix wasn't going to say anything about that sober...I didn't realize he had drunk that much.

I got closer to his mouth, staring at his eyes the entire time when I discreetly turned to his ear and whispered:

"You're drunk" I said without even thinking about whether this was the best way to answer Felix's question.

I may have thrown away my chance of finally kissing him, but I need to know if it's the drink or is him.

"So are you, Jin," Felix said with a smirk "And, you know how I look when I'm really drunk"

Truth be told, Felix, when he is really drunk, he can barely stand alone, he is 100% of the time laughing with someone who is usually Jisung and is always stumbling and tangling his sentences.

But that doesn't take away the fact that today can be an atypical day.

A day that instead of Felix tripping and falling off the ground, he's out there hitting on his best friend and wanting to kiss him.

He kept getting closer again to my ear.

"Maybe I drank just to build up courage, after all, after all these years you've never taken the initiative," he said.

WHAT?

'You never took the initiative' what was that supposed to mean? Was he saying that I've never took initiative in kissing him?

As if he know the fact that I was and am completely in love with him?

Is he referring to the last few years I spent days crying for loving my best friend?

Does he know all this and is here, still, with me?

-2 months before-

"Have you ever stopped to think about in this tiny little head of yours that maybe, just maybe, Yongbok likes you back?" Changbin said.