The Monastery

Chapter 40: Thoughts of Escape

Susant ran to Jampa's dorm room but could not find his friend. After making his way to the gardens, he could not find him there either. He headed over to the dining hall where a big crowd of monks had gathered. All of them had a single unlit candle in their hands and looked as if they were heading towards the garden area.

              Pushing his way through the crowd of monks, Susant finally found his friend.

              "Jampa," said Susant, waving at him. The moment he saw him he could see in his friend's face that something was wrong. "What's going on?"

              He pulled Susant to the side, and he noticed that Jampa, too, was holding an unlit candle. "I've never seen everyone gather together like this before," said Susant, looking around at all the monks.

              "Yes," said Jampa, following his gaze. "It is rare."

              "Did something happen?"

              Jampa was quiet for a moment. "The man who was the head chef of the dining hall for as long as anyone can remember passed away this morning. He loved this monastery more than anyone. It is a sad day for everyone, as we all loved him very much."

              Susant turned his eyes away from his friend, feeling a bit of shame over the thoughts that were swimming through his mind. "I . . ." Susant began, trying to speak. "For some reason, I thought that people couldn't die here . . ."

              Jampa smiled and put his hand on Susant's shoulder. "Change is inevitable. And death is change. Even though this place has magic, and it is most certainly true that people live much longer while being here, that magic cannot deny one of the sacred truths of the universe."

              "Oh," said Susant, feeling saddened by the thought. He was sorry to hear that someone Jampa cared about had passed away. He could feel the sorrow in his friend. "I didn't even know the dining hall had a head chef. Guess that makes sense."

              "Yeah," answered Jampa. "Though he hasn't been able to cook for a while now. He came down with a terrible illness that the doctors could not cure. They could only prolong his life for a little while. Once he was incapable of walking, they put him in a wheelchair, and from then on, he could no longer cook for us."

              Susant's eyes widened. He now knew who it was. It was the old man he had seen the first day he had come to the monastery. The same man who had been moaning in pain in the corridor of the dining hall that one night. Susant felt the tears welling up in his eyes, trying hard to hold them back.

              "What is everyone doing with the candles?" Susant stammered.

              "There is a ceremony that we do to honor those who have passed. Everyone will take their candles to the garden and decorate the many stupas with them. Once night has fallen, everyone will light their candle, and people will either chant mantras or walk koras, hoping to bring him good energy towards what he will find in the next life."

              "I see. That makes sense."

              "But what about you?" Jampa asked. "You looked a bit nervous when I first saw you . . . Has something happened? Are you all right?"

              Susant was quiet for a moment. He wasn't sure how exactly to approach the subject. He wanted to tell his friend everything, about his dream, and about the Chanting Master asking him to take refuge. But as he watched the other monks and nuns passing them by, each of them with a candle and a purpose, he didn't want to concern Jampa with his own problems.

              "It's nothing," said Susant. "I'll see you at the candle ceremony in a little while."

***

              Susant watched the hundreds of candles light up the night. He watched the monks and nuns chanting mantras as other walked koras. It was truly a beautiful sight to behold. Even though he was watching everyone from the outskirts of the garden, Susant said his own mantras for the old man.

              As he sat and watched everyone, Susant made peace with the thoughts in his head. For some reason, knowing that it was possible to die in the monastery made everything simpler for him. He was still curious about what his purpose was in this place and what his dreams meant, but that was no longer as important to him as returning to his father.

              The Empire was converging on Nyima, of that he was certain. And the Empire was a dark cloud that would engulf the sunshine of Nyima forever. Everything would be changed, and knowing the people of his country, they would not sit back idly and watch. They had the blood of the mountains in their veins. They would not be slaughtered without a fight. They were earth, after all.

              Susant stood to his feet. He knew what he had to do. He didn't know if it would work, but something in his heart told him that there was a way; that he needed only to find it. Jampa had told him that believing was one of the secret gifts of their world, and he was starting to believe he could escape.

              "Have you ever seen anything like this?" The voice of Lotus startled him, and Susant quickly turned, facing her. "I didn't mean to surprise you," she said, her voice as soft as ever.

              "It's all right. Just a lot going on today."

              "Yes," said Lotus. "I knew him, also, though only a little. I was really upset to hear."

              Susant turned and faced her, holding her eyes with his own. "I've had a second dream." He paused for a moment and Lotus took a couple breaths, readying herself to hear him out. "I saw the Empire converging on Nyima."

              Lotus's eyes grew wide with shock.

              "I know they are coming to attack my homeland," said Susant, making a fist. "I can't just sit around here dallying any longer. I must return home to Nyima. I have to make it back to see my father. If . . . if I can't make it back, I might never see him again. I might never see any of my friends again. . . ."

              Lotus turned to the edge of the garden, looking out over the night sky. "You're going to try and escape, aren't you?" Her voice was quiet and concerned.

              "Yes." 

              "I . . ." began Lotus, but she could not finish her sentence.

              "I would ask if you wanted to come with me," said Susant. "But I fear that, if I fail, a terrible fate may await me. I would never want to subject you to such harm." He reached out and took her hand. "Besides, even if I do manage to perform a miracle and escape, the Empire will soon be in Nyima. It will then become the most dangerous place to be in the entire world."

              Lotus had a look in her eyes that Susant could not discern.

              "But I promise you this," said Susant. "If I somehow live through this, I will return to you. I will return here, and I will find you again."

              "Susant," Lotus began, tears welling up in her eyes. "You don't understand. You can't . . ."

              Susant held his finger to her lips, then brushed the tears from her eyes.

              "Believe in me, as I believe in you," he said, then leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek.

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