Pulling The Strings

Explanation

Now for why I haven't uploaded.

When I first started writing, it was for a bet between me and my sister on who could get the most reads in a month. And that's what it started as, but as I started my story I really became intimate with it. I poured my heart in to the words I wrote and really tried to make it enjoyable. And when I got to 1k reads, I realized that people actually enjoy what I have to offer. So I kept writing.

But lately I've realized something else. When I first started my story, I didn't have anything. I had no friends and was homeschooled, my dad was still terrorizing me and my family, and I was still depressed. These past two years my life really turned around. I was put into school and my dad is no more in my home. I've gotten professional help for my depression and my family feels whole and loving. I'm happy.

I'm living my life now. I go out with friends and  come out of my room more and more to bond with my family in a safe environment. Writing just started becoming more and more of a task or weight to keep going sometimes. I feel like some of my books were a coping mechanism for my trauma and stress present in my life.

I don't feel the same when I write fan fiction anymore. I haven't even really even thought about reading one for months.

For example I used to check my notifications everyday bc I like seeing what you guys have to say about my book and how I can make it better and more enjoyable. But a while ago I realized that I haven't checked in a long time and opened Wattpad to more than 500 notifications.

I just don't feel the magic of writing anymore. And that does make me sad, but as much as I try to get back into it, even I can tell that the story and wording doesn't flow as smoothly as it used to and it shows. I really don't want to disappoint you guys but I just don't want to write anymore.

I'm sorry to all of my earlier readers who have been loyaly waiting for updates.

I hope you guys can understand. And thanks you for all of the love and support. You'll never understand how much this platform and these people kept me alive.

I love you guys.