Waves of Ruin

Chapter 19

I awoke to a start, my dreams suffocating me beyond fiction. I sit up in bed, breath coming in and out in short strides. My father's words still ringing in my ear even though I am very much awake. I was back home, having failed my mission to acquire the money. Everything I have been running from was in front of me, bearing it's vicious teeth at me, grinning.

I also knew you would fail, failing is all you seem to be able to do. He says to me.

My chest tightens and I feel like I might collapse back down on my bed. Everything around me disappears and the only thing I seem to be able to see is the blanket in front of me. I grab it, knuckles turning white with my grip. I can't seem to catch my breath. I notice my vision start to blur, either with the tears pushing there way past my eyes or the lack of oxygen, I am not quite sure.

Then the last person I want to think about right now comes to mind, Atlas. The words of his mother to herself drip into my ears. "There is a peacefulness inside me that can not be disturbed" I say out loud.

Closing my eyes tightly, thinking of the only place I every really felt happy.

Papa comes in. He grabs his coat and puts it on before helping me put mine on. It was chilly out, but whatever he needed to show me was more important than our bodies having to face a little frost.

We leave, walking through the streets in silence. The cold weather will freeze our breath right in front of us if we even try to speak. I am almost thirteen, a monumental age for young girls. In only a few years I will be able to decide my path in life. This is the age for the young women we are to become to get out in society and meet suitors or in my case, look for the right ship to join. I need to find one that will let me be more than a girl in a sea of men.

We are heading away from the sea I realize. I look up at Papa, who seems to know I would be confused by this change in our usual schedule. Slightly glad and disappointed we keep walking. I am thankful that we aren't going to the wharf in this frigid spike. Normally it doesn't get quite this cold, but this year has changed that. We enter a building, the sign on the front saying The Rose tavern.

I hesitate as we walk in, I have never been near a tavern much less inside one and I am a little nervous. Papa senseing my apprehension grabs my hand and squeezes.

"Don't worry little one, you will be safe with me. I have some people for you to meet." He says with a smile that I know I will never forget.

"Alright Papa, I trust you." And I do, more than anyone I have ever known.

We walk to a table with a few people sitting around it. I shake hands with a few women and men. I am introduced to people who tell me that I am more than welcome to join there crew when I am ready. This was the first time I knew for sure this was my path. Papa let me talk to anyone who would listen, knowing I needed to do this myself, he just wanted to give me the chance.

This was the best day of my life, I secured a crew who told me I would be able to train for whatever position I wanted as long as I was willing to stay with them for at least 3 years. I didn't hesitate with my answer.

"Of course."

I feel at ease thinking on this memory, it was the moment my life started. One I was choosing, I knew then my Papa was in my corner and would do everything he could to show his support. We continued to talk and eat, Papa introducing me to a few more of his friends. They all kind of blurred together, then something sticks out.

We walk over to a different table, one I have not been to tonight. Papa looks down at me "I have one last person I wasn't to introduce you to Lily Bean." He says.

I nod, wondering if maybe it is another person who I could work with. I already made my decision but I guess more connections couldn't help.

The man turns around to face us, his brown hair a little longer than then men I am used to seeing. His tall and slender form definitely reminds me of someone who lives on a ship.