Scarlet Widow Imagines

She Used To Be Mine

I'm looking out over the river where we just held Tony's funeral and remember everything we have done together over the past 15 years. My mind wonders off to someone else we've lost, who literally gave her life to save everyone, to bring them back. Not far away from me are Wanda and Clint talking about them, but I can't hear what they're saying. I know I could join them if I want to, but it's too hard for me to hear them talk about my brother and the love of my life. Don't get me wrong, I know it's hard on them too especially since She was Clint's best friend and with Him he was close too after fighting together for so long and I know Her and Wanda were close too and even though when we first met her, she hated Him but time does miracles. But let's not forget she lost her boyfriend too and never had time to grieve since she was snapped out of existence... I hear someone walk my way, but I keep my gaze on the water. "I thought I could find you here." I hear my, is she still my sister-in-law now that He's gone? I smile sadly at her. "How are you holding up?" She asks me gently. "Where's Morgan?" I ask instead. "She's with Happy so I could check up on you." "That's nice of you, Pep, but you've got enough on your mind. You just lost your husband and a close friend." "And you lost your wife and brother." I take a deep breath before answering her question, knowing I can't make her let it slide. "I'm going to resign from the Avengers." I tell her. "Without them there with me I don't think I can keep up with all the fighting." From the corner of my eye I see Pepper nod. "Just remember you're not alone, Y/N. You're still my sister and Morgan's aunt and Godmother, we'll always be here for you." I smile softly. "Thanks, Pep. You should get back to your daughter before she breaks the place down, like her father used to." A tear falls down when I remember our childhood. I feel arms wrap around me, but it takes me a while to realize Pepper is giving me a hug. 

A few months later I work at a local diner across the street from the shoarma joint we went to after every successful mission. the bell above the door rings, letting me know there are new customers. "Aunty Y/N!" I hear my niece yell from the door, making me look over towards her and Pepper and for a moment I catch myself wondering where Tony is, only to be hit once again with the memories of our battle against Thanos. I lead them to their table and hand them their menu's. "Here you go, I'll be back in a bit to take your orders. Is that okay with you, Miss?" I ask the little girl, who nods her head. 
After they paid for their meal, Pepper asks me to come by their place after my shift. "I'll be done in a bit, so I'll see you in less than an hour." "Okay, Y/N. It's great to see you again." "Yeah..."

"So, how are you holding up?" Pepper asks me as we sit down on the couch in her living room. "It's not simple to say, most days I don't recognize me. These shoes and this apron," I start, pointing down to the awful outfit I have to wear for work. "That place and its patrons have taken more than I gave them." I sigh deeply before continuing. "It's not easy to know I'm not anything like I used to be although it's true. I was never attention sweet center, I still remember that girl." I think back at the time before the Avengers, when whereas Tony liked to go after Dad with his need for attention, I prefered to stay out of it. "She's imperfect but she tries, she is good but she lies. She is hard on herself, she is broken and won't ask for help..."  "She is messy but she's kind." Pepper adds. "She is lonely most of the time." "She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie." Pepper tells me in her familiar big sister kind of way while pulling me in a tight hug. "She is gone, but she used to be mine." I whisper.
We talk a bit about everything that happened, that neither of us were ready to talk about before and also reminisce about our spouses and everything that happened that seemed to try to get in between our relationships. "It's not what I asked for." She tells me. "Sometimes life just slips in through a back door and carves out a person." I remind her. "And makes you believe it's all true." She adds once again. We hear Morgan's door open and see her walk through the hall to go to the bathroom. "And now I've got you." I whisper, looking at the little girl. "And she's not what you asked for." Pepper says, admitting what I was afraid to. "If I'm honest, I know I would give it all back for a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two... For the girl that I knew..." I tell her, knowing it sounds selfish. Pepper signs for me to continue, knowing I need to rant about the woman who was, and honestly still is, everything to me. "Who'd be reckless, just enough. Who'd get hurt but who learned how to toughen up when she's bruised and got used by a man who couldn't love..." I spit the last part with vemon lacing my words. "And then she'd get stuck, and be scard of the life that's inside her, growing stronger each day 'til it finally reminds her to live just a little. To bring back the fire in her eyes." I sigh. "That's been gone, but used to be mine..." Pepper places her hand on my arm before speaking. "She was messy, but was kind. She was lonely most of the time. She was al of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie." I realize how she repeats a part of our conversation earlier on in the evening. "She is gone, but she used to be mine."