"Sup Fabio?" I asked "Come on in"
Fabio obeyed and sat on the couch. "So... Are we gonna talk about the creepy dude that was claiming to date you and called you 'babe'? Or do you want to just brush over that?"
Yknow. I just met Fabio recently, I'm not too attached and honestly I would love to see him shit his pants. So, I'm not telling him that there's a particular demon in a striped suit standing behind him.
"Oh.. Uhh... Him? Yeah. We're dating" I said, waiting for BJ to scare Fabio.
"Sweetie, we're alone, you can talk. Does he have you trapped? Is he your sugar daddy?"
"What? No! It's nothing like that, Fabs" honestly I'm a smidge offended.
Then finally, Beetlejuice interjected "Yeah babe. I haven't even gotten much sugar yet"
Like I expected, Fabio jumped out of his seat and turned around to see BJ floating mid air with his arms crossed like this was a normal thing for him.
"WHAT. THE. FUCK." was all Fabio could say. He was shell shocked, which... Understandable but I just stood there and laughed.
"So Fabio, this is Beetlejuice" I walked over to where he was levitating. "Beetlejuice, this is Fabio" I said, introducing the two.
"Beetle.... Juice? What the fuck kind of a name is that?" Fabio asked skeptically. Actually... Yeah. Even him being a demon doesn't excuse the fact that his name makes no sense. I just looked up at him, waiting for a response.
"Ok fine it's my middle name. But c'mon, it's a name so nice, you gotta say it thrice." he smiled
"Thrice?" Fabio asked
"Three. Three times. You say my name 3 times for anything cool to happen." he sighed and looked at me "This fucking guy. Acting like he's never seen a demon!"
"Stop BJ, I don't think he has" I said
"Okay hold the fuck up. So you, Y/N, has a house that is haunted by you, Beetle... Juice, and you both are dating"
"Yeah that's right" I nodded
"Am I the only one that sees an issue here? He's DEAD! How old even is this moldy bastard?!"
Now BJ was offended, putting a hand to his chest "HEY! My mold is COMPLETELY under control! AND! For your information Fabio, I am 650 years old!" He crossed his arms "Believe me, kid. I tried telling ol' Y/N over here the issues of dating a dead guy but they didn't care. I'm just that irresistible, I guess"
Fabio was frozen in confusion for about 10 seconds then sighed "Can I please talk to Y/N in private? I have questions"
I nodded and walked him outside so we could chat as BJ stayed put in the living room.
"Oh my god Y/N. What the hell."
"What do you mean?"
"How deep rooted are your daddy issues that you're fucking a ghost?"
"Hey! We haven't gotten that far.. Yet... And I don't even know if I want to! I mean... I'm sure he's seen me naked before. He's a bit of a creep" I giggled
"How are you laughing at this?! Listen, I respect you, Y/N, I do. However, what the hell? How did you fall in love with a creepy poltergeist?"
"Well.." I began "He listened to me, he's a perv but it's a part of his charm, when we're alone he's different. I know he's dead and creepy Fabio but please let me be happy. He's been there for me more than anyone else has and I'm not letting you judge us."
Fabio sighed "Alright. But if things go south, know I have a pretty good vacuum to suck him up with"
"I think he'd like being sucked" I laughed
"Hon if you don't do it I'll do it myself!"
"Wait what?" I asked
"You heard me! With all suspicions aside he's genuinely pretty hot" Fabio admitted
"I know right! In like a... Creepy dead way"
"In like a creepy dead way!"
We both laughed and went inside to chat with Beetlejuice. Fabio had more questions for him in particular so the three of us talked for a while until BJ brought up an interesting question.
"So what are we going to do with Mr.Slug?"
Fabio didn't even know that was Matt's nickname but automatically knew who it was
"No clue. We need something big, though. He obviously has nothing big on him" Fabio rolled his eyes.
"Well, I wanted to chop his balls off" Beetlejuice remarked
"YES!" Fabio piped in "And THEN we turn them into charms on a bracelet for me and Y/N to share!"
"HEY! I want one t-"
"Stop! Stop!" I interrupted their plotting. "I know he's an asshole but he's just a horny teen. We can't mutilate his genitals, that would be a far worse crime"
BJ rolled his eyes "I'm dead! They can't put me in jail! Doing crimes is my thing!"
"Still.. Maybe staying quiet is best" I sighed
"HELL NO! LET'S CHOP BALLS OFF!" Fabio yelled
"I like this kid" BJ remarked
"I like you too, Beetle man" Fabio winked, making a confused expression appear on BJ's face before looking at me. I shrugged in response.
After about an hour of plotting, we decided that on Tuesday (we have a day off on Monday) BJ would come to school with me disguised as a student (this had nothing to do with the plan, he just wanted to possess people), we would tell Sean how much of an ass Matt is, and if that goes well we'd be on our way and never talk to Slug ever again. However, if Sean doesn't believe us or sticks with Slug, then we never speak to either of them and cause mass chaos with the help of my pale boyfriend.
"Ah shit. My mom is going to be here in like an hour" I said to Fabio, noticing the time.
"Okay, I'll dip" he said, standing up. "Nice meeting you Beetlejuice, bye Y/N" I hugged Fabio and let him out the door.
Once closed I ran over to Beetlejuice and hugged him.
"That went well" he said, casually and I nodded.
"I'm exhausted, BJ. I'm gonna make some pasta for mom and I then pass out"
"Pass out all you want, gives me a reason to do CPR, just don't die. I don't need a dead Y/N, I'm trying to BECOME human, not get you dead" he laughed
"Either way I'm with you" I smiled
I think I love this guy
YOU ARE READING
You Could Use a Buddy {Beetlejuice x Reader}
FanfictionY/N is moving into a new house with their busy mom. This is a new town they're coming to and with it comes a new school. However, there's something different about this house. It is home to 3 ghosts: Barbara, Adam, and Beetlejuice. The first two kee...
